Gary Chapman: It is possible to grow significantly in learning how to talk, but she will need your help. Be aware when talking to her that you don’t just make statements—things like, “I wish you’d talk more,” or “It’s a beautiful day.”  One of best things you can do is to ask her specific questions. It is easier for a “dead sea” (non-talker) to talk if you ask specific questions. So once you’ve asked a question, leave some silence. Don’t answer for her. Give her a chance to enter into the conversation. Additionally, it’s a good idea to phrase questions in a way that require thoughtful response as opposed to one word answers (yes or no). Be satisfied with short answers at first because it will take a while for her to begin to talk more. Try to have different questions you can ask her everyday and before long you will notice a change.

I think it is a relationship problem. The first step is to write down the ‘money issues” on which the two of you disagree. Then one by one, look for a game plan that will make both of you winners. If you can’t agree on such a plan, then get a counselor or trusted friend to help you. You don’t have to spend a lifetime arguing about money.

Gary Chapman: Until your husband is remarried, there is hope for your marriage. Don’t ever give up until he marries someone else. Now having said that, I recognize that you cannot control your husband. There’s nothing you can do that is going to make him return. You or friends can put helpful books in his hands—like my book Hope for the Separated: Wounded Marriages Can Be Healed which has helped many people come to a different perspective on their marriage. If they respond and come back to reinvest in the marriage, then I would encourage you to get counseling. Don’t just move back together.

Yes, your marriage can be restored. Trust God to work in his heart and allow him be free because God also allows him to be free.

A:  First of all, you’re not alone. We all have emotional hot spots and there are many other souses—male and female—that feel the same you do. Working through the issue starts with finding better ways of saying things that don’t hurt the other person. To say he’s “good looking” may not hurt as bad, but to use the word “crush” communicates to you that she has some sort of desire to be with that person. Share with her how hurtful that is to you. Have an open conversation with her. If you find you two can’t work it out one-on-one, then I would encourage you both to sit down with a counselor or pastor and let someone else help through it.

Gary Chapman: People talk about physical health a lot, but we don’t often talk about emotional health. Some of us grew up in homes where we didn’t have a whole lot of love and care—resulting in a lot of internal struggles. Now you’re an adult and you are recognizing this. Reach out to a counselor—someone who is trained to help people start where they are and move towards a healthier state. We are growing and we’re in process. Wherever you are in your journey of emotional health, it can get better. My encouragement: Let God use someone who has been trained in this area to help move you in a positive direction.

Gary Chapman: The reality is that marriage has always been a public thing. It’s not simply an agreement between two people. It’s recorded in human history and society recognizes the couple as being married—something that doesn’t happen when a couple is simply living together. I know it’s popular today to be sexually active and/or live together prior to, or in place of, getting married. However, the wedding is important. Marriage is important. When we downplay the marriage covenant by living together and become sexually active prior to marriage, we increase our chances for marital problems. In fact, research indicates that a sexually active couple who lives together is far more likely to divorce once they do get married. The reality is that you cannot simulate marriage. It’s far better to wait to come together sexually until after you’ve made that lifelong commitment to the other person.