Q&A: Past Girlfriends

Q: Is it still ok to maintain contact with past girlfriends now that I’m married?

Dr. Gary Chapman: The short answer is no. The long answer is maybe. It depends on the nature of those relationships. Sometimes someone you’ve dated in the past may be a co-worker or go to your church, making interaction with them unavoidable. However, I don’t think you should be spending individual time with that person: not even coffee, lunch, or extended conversations. Many people have been pulled from their marriage back into past relationships by doing such things. I think it should be minimum contact at most, and that only if it’s necessary.


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