What’s Love Got To Do With It?
“Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the Church…”
In the contemporary world, perhaps nowhere has confusion reigned more than in the area of the husband’s role in marriage. On one extreme there’s the dominant husband who makes all decisions and informs the wife as to what they are going to do. On the other extreme is the husband who expects the wife to support the family and make all the major decisions. But, there’s a healthy middle—the husband is a responsible, dependable, leading but non-domineering. A husband who is deeply committed to his wife and family.
Leadership means communication, not control. The husband is to love and provide for his wife as Christ loves and cares for His Church. But how can the husband do that if he doesn’t know her needs? We must take the initiative in asking questions and listening in order to “know” our wives and thus be able to meet their needs. If God invites us to come to Him with our needs, and make our requests known, why shouldn’t the husband do the same?
Being a loving leader requires us to serve whomever we lead. To put them at the top of our priority list. So, the husband who loves his wife will make his wife his number one priority. Throughout the day he will ask himself the question: What can I do for her that will enhance her life? He will pray for her daily and commend her for her accomplishments. Last week Gia commented that to show love for her husband meant that she prays for him. It is equally as important for husbands to be lifting their wives up in prayer as well.
As Christ intercedes for us and showers us with daily blessings, so the husband as a loving leader will shower his wife with actions and words which say, “I love you.” And she? She will follow his leadership.
Today there are two sets of questions:
For the Men-
What ways have you been a loving leader, and what are some ways you want to improve in this area? What could your wife do to help you be a better loving leader?
For the Women-
Submission is a taboo word, why does it bother you so much? What does this word look like in your marriage? What ways do you need to improve in submitting to your husband, and how could he help you with that?
I think the word submission means to us … basically slavery, so to submit means to give up everything and blindly follow. That feels so scary! But, when my husband leads, and i know and feel that he honors me, submitting is not about slavery, its about honoring him back. When he does it with love, its almost become natural for me to submit to him.
What’s love got to do with it? Well, as a married 45 year old, let me tell you…when you have gained a few pounds over the years, gray hair is now your natural color, wrinkles popping up everywhere, unwanted facial hair, aches and pains are every day company; when life gets to this stage, love has everything to do with it. You better know it’s love beforehand…
I have to say that I am blessed with an amazing husband. He makes me feel like he is thinking about me 24 hours a day. He places my needs and wants above his own. Everyone that I have ever met for the first time that know him or works with him, always comments on how much he loves me and how he says such wonderful things about me (sometimes I’m not sure if I deserve them). Sometimes it is the little things that warm my heart, like taking the kids to school and stopping by Starbucks on his way home with my favorite coffee. Yes, we get rounder, more wrinkles, more gray hair for me and less hair for him, but none of those things matter when your “love tank” is over flowing.