My husband, John, and I have been together since high school; in fact we were “sweetest couple” as seniors in high school. We went to separate colleges but got married right after college and have had, what I thought, was a wonderful marriage since. But then my biggest fear had come true; John had an affair. John realized he made the biggest mistake of his life and we had decided to stay together and were working on our marriage when something even worse happened; the other woman showed up at my house pregnant. At this point I was dealing with infertility myself and infidelity, so this hit me really hard.
During my struggles I constantly thought, “why me?” An answer came to me one day. God was using me. God knew my love for John was strong. God knew I would struggle, but as always, he would be there to carry me through the hard times. He also knew my passion to help people. My struggle is to serve God. Philippians 1:29 says you have been granted for Christ’s sake, not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for his sake.
During this time of struggle, my friend told me about your wonderful books so I immediately bought The 5 Love Languages and read it through in one night! John also read the book and we realized that we were not speaking each others love languages. I was not getting what I wanted from him and vice versa. We also went to see you speak just a few months later and were so inspired. From that point on, we worked really hard to speak each others love languages and it has changed are lives drastically. We now know what makes each other happy and speak each others love languages daily. I’ll put away dishes, which he loves and I hate. And he’ll actually think to surprise me with a gift or night out! (His love language is Acts of Service and mine is Gifts.) I have since given The 5 Love Languages book as a gift to married couples and advocate for how true it is.
John and I have an even stronger, better marriage today than I even thought was possible. We use our struggles to help each other’s going through similar situations. When people today ask about what happened, I tell them we were not speaking each other’s love language!