Many people view marriage as a contract. “I’ll do this if you will do that.” But the Bible views marriage as a covenant. “I will look out for your wellbeing no matter how you treat me. I view our marriage as a permanent relationship. I will not walk out on you. Because I love you, I will confront you when I see you doing things that I believe are harmful.
I will speak the truth in love. When you confess wrong doing, I will forgive you and never hold it against you in the future. I am committed to helping you accomplish God’s will for your life. You can count on my support.” Where does one get the heart and the power to live out such a covenant? I know of only one source – God. He is a covenant keeping God and will help you keep your covenant.
“Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it.” Does that sound “otherworldly”? I, for one, am fully willing to admit that apart from the work of Christ and the ministry of the Holy Spirit in my life I am not likely to be that kind of husband. I am in fact, self-centered and often selfish.
However, there is no question that this is God’s expectation of me and all husbands. As Christians we must not accept the cultural norm as our standard. Rather, we must recognize that in Christ we have the ability to transcend the pull of selfishness and truly become lovers. Few wives will run away from a husband who is loving as Christ loved.
People sometimes say, “My spouse has hurt me so deeply, I don’t know that I can ever love them again.” I understand that when the hurt is deep and the anger fresh, it seems that we cannot love. However, we must remember that God loved us while we were still sinners and sent Christ to die for us. You may say, “That’s God; not me. I can’t do that.”
If you are a Christian, Romans 5:5 tells us that God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit. We have received the love of God and now we dispense His love to others. You can show God’s love to your spouse by the way you talk and by your actions regardless of your emotions. When you love, you reflect the character of God.