November 9, 2016
Bigger is better, right?
Doesn’t that often seem like the motto in America? We are always thinking about the next bigger or better thing we “need” to buy.
When I find myself always wanting more in any aspect of life, I stop enjoying the blessings that currently surround me. My heart turns from a thankful heart to a never satisfied heart.
Continue reading article by Rachel Bohanan >>
July 27, 2016
According to Money Magazine, 70% of married couples argue about money – more than about sex, household chores, time spent together, what’s for dinner and snoring. What does that say about the state of our money situation? Studies also show that what happens before marriage will probably happen during. To head off money conflicts from the nuptial-planning beginning, employ these techniques to find out what you need to know about the situation.
The money-spat breakdown of couples, according to the Money survey, show the categories as follows: Spending 55%, Saving 37%, Deceit 21% and Exclusion from decisions 11%. The money-fight within the money-fight, if you will.
So how can we move forward as lovers instead of warriors?
Continue reading article by Deborah Hightower>>
July 22, 2016
Q: Gary, my fiancé is a bit undependable (paying bills, chores, being on time, etc.). How can I Trust him with bigger things if he doesn’t take care of the small things?
Gary: Excellent question, and a question that should always be asked and answered before you get married, because whatever patterns are there before you get married will follow into the marriage. That’s why these things need to be discussed openly, you need to share your concerns, share your thoughts. If a person can’t grow in these areas before marriage, then they’re not going to grow in them after marriage. So these are the kind of things that need to be settled before you get married.
October 6, 2014
Q: My husband recently lost his job, how can I help him to stay positive?
Gary: Here are three things I suggest: (1) Speak your husband’s love language. The deepest emotional need we have is the need to feel loved. When your husband’s love tank is full, life is much easier to process. He may not have a job, but if he has you and feels that you really love him, he can go on looking with a positive attitude. (2) I suggest that you look for volunteer jobs at your church or in your community. Getting involved in doing something worthwhile is a big deterrent in getting depressed. Often it’s in the context of volunteering that you make new friends and sometimes even find a new job opportunity. (3) Ask your friends to pray for you. That’s what friendship is all about. Don’t walk it alone.
August 29, 2014
Q: After getting married we are having a hard time with coming together with our money. When it comes to bills it seems like it’s either hers or mine. Any advice?
Gary: Talk about it. It’s normal for couples to have issues of adjustment when they get married. I suggest that each week you have a family conference in which each of you brings up one thing that is bothering you. Then the two of you look for an answer. If it’s done on a regular basis, you will process normal conflicts in a positive way. If you don’t have a set time to talk you will likely hold things inside until the pressure gets so strong that you explode and end up in an argument. Sharing concerns and looking for solutions draws a couple together. Love is always willing to listen and open to change.
August 12, 2014
Saving money is good stewardship. One way to save money is to spend less. One way to spend less is to do “seasonal shopping” This is especially helpful when buying clothing. Shop at the end of the season sales. I don’t mean the first day of the sale. I mean after the items have been reduced two or three times. My wife recently came home with a $399 outfit that she purchased for $59.00. I love that kind of shopping. When it comes to food and household items, don’t forget
“discount shopping.” In most towns there are good stores that sell cheaper than others. Why not buy your groceries there? Their bananas come off the same boat as the bananas at the more expensive store. And by using manufacturer’s coupons, you can save even more.
August 7, 2014
Do you need more money? One of the best ways to have more money is to try what I call “free shopping.” Drive through affluent neighborhoods the night before the discards are to be collected. It’s amazing the things you find sitting beside a garbage can. The second approach is to let all your friends know that you are open to receiving hand-me-downs, especially children’s clothing and toys. The third approach is to inform your parents of specific toys that your children have requested. You know that they are going to give the children presents for their birthday, Christmas, and other occasions, so why not have them purchase things that the children really want? With these approaches you’ll have money for date nights and weekend get-aways with your spouse.
June 19, 2014
Well, this is the last day to get your income taxes filed. Hopefully, most of you have already completed this annual task. If so, then today you can celebrate life with your spouse and family. Celebrate the fact that you made enough money to file. Or, if you did not, then thank God that you are still alive and ask Him to guide your efforts to take care of your family. Family is the central unit in any society. In the midst of hard times, we must remember that what really counts in life is our relationship with God and family. It doesn’t cost anything to have a relationship with God. He has already paid for it. All you have to do is accept his mercy and grace. Nor do we have to be wealthy to have good family relationships. Give every member of your family a hug today and things will get better.
December 27, 2013
Q: My parents are offering my fiancé and I money for a house downpayment, but my boyfriend doesn’t want to owe anything after being married. What do you think?
Dr. Gary Chapman: It sounds like they’re offering you a loan rather than simply giving you the money for the downpayment. I can understand the hesitancy of your boyfriend; he doesn’t want to feel like they’re controlling the marriage. This is a worthy concern, and I don’t have a right or wrong answer for you. I think it depends on the nature of the relationship. There is nothing morally wrong about accepting money from your in-laws, but if it’s something that will cause contention then it may be wise to politely decline.
June 4, 2013
When I wrote my book: Profit Sharing: The Chapman Guide to Making Money an Asset to Your Marriage, I discovered that one of the most common problems is that couples do not feel like partners. Often, the husband so controls the money that the wife feels like a child on an allowance. Or, the wife will control the money and the husband feels ‘left out’. Obviously, someone must balance the checkbook, and keep the bills paid, but this does not mean that they control the money. We are a team, and must work together. The Bible says, “Two are better than one.” That is certainly true in money management. If you keep the books, you might ask your spouse: “Do you feel like a partner, or a child?” Take their answer seriously, and make adjustments as needed.