Category: Love

The Loving Person Is a Generous Person

The loving person is a generous person. Generosity is giving your attention, time, abilities, and money freely to others. I watched as the cashier rang up the purchases. When the lady went to pay, she was six dollars short. The lady behind her stepped up and said, “I’d be happy to give you six dollars.” “Oh no, the lady said, I can take some things back.” “I insist she said, take it as a gift from God.” “ Oh, well thank you very much, and God bless you.” That is an example of generosity. Generosity is one of the seven characteristics of love. The others are: kindness, patience, courtesy, forgiveness, honesty, and humility. In my book: Love As a Way of Life, you’ll find help in becoming the lover you want to be.

Accepting Imperfections of Others

Patience is accepting the imperfections of others. By nature, we so want others to be as good as we are; as on time as we are; as organized as we are. The reality – humans are not machines. The rest of the world does not live by your priority list. Your agenda is not their agenda. Patience is giving people freedom to be different. When is the last time you were impatient? Did your impatience not come from someone failing to live up to your expectations? The bible says, “love is patient”. Love apologizes when in impatience I lash out at you. What if all Christians were patient? My book, Love As a Way of Life is designed to help you get there.

Being Kind

“Be ye kind one to another.” We memorized it as children, but have we forgotten it as adults? Kindness is one of the traits of love. Do you consciously think of being kind to others throughout the day? Kindness is expressed in the way we talk as well as what we do. Yelling and screaming are not kind. Speaking softly is. Then there are acts of kindness – things we do to help others. Mowing the grass for a neighbor who is in the hospital or on vacation is an act of kindness. Washing dishes for the family is also a kind thing to do. Imagine what life would be like if all of us were kind. In my book: Love As a Way of Life, I’m trying to help you make that vision become reality.

Meaningful Dialogue

One of the things that motivated me to write the book: Love As a Way of Life is what I see on television day after day. Watch any talk show and you will see that we have lost the art of meaningful dialogue. We have little respect for those who disagree with us. Politicians and religious leaders seem to be in an attack mode most of the time. Someone recently asked me, “Do you really think that love has a chance in today’s world?” I believe that love is our only chance. If we come to respect all people as persons for whom Christ died and we treat them as potential brothers and sisters, we have a chance of bringing them to Christ. He is their only hope.

What If Christians Really Were

What if Christians really were? The word Christian means ‘Christ like’. In the first century it was not a name chosen by the followers of Jesus. It was a name given to them by others. The best way to describe these people was to call them Christians. Their lifestyle was based on the teachings of Jesus. Central in these teachings is the command to love. In fact, Jesus said that the greatest commandment is to love God and the second is to love our neighbors. I think ‘neighbor’ starts with the family and spreads outward. Love begins with an attitude, which in turn leads to acts of service. “How may I help you,” is a good question with which to begin. Today is a good day to express love.

Love Stimulates Love

Love is a choice.

We can request love, but we cannot demand love. We cannot make our spouse speak our love language. However, though we can’t control our spouse, we can control our attitude and our behavior.

The good news is that love stimulates love. And though the object of love is not getting something you want but doing something for the well-being of the one you love, it is a fact that when we receive love, we are far more likely to be motivated to reciprocate and do something our spouse desires.

Try this…

Choose an attitude of love. Learn the love language of your spouse and speak it on a regular basis. Then, three months down the road, you can say to them,

‘On a scale of zero to ten, how much love do you feel coming from me?’

If they give you a seven, eight, nine, ten—you’re at the top. Or if they say anything less than ten, you say,

‘What can I do to bring it up to a ten or bring it up to a nine?’

They’ll probably give you a suggestion. To the best of your ability, you do that.

Repeat this process every two weeks by simply asking your spouse what you can do to love them better, and taking their answer to heart.

There’s a good chance that, before long, they’re going to say, ‘Well, wait a minute here. I’m turning this around. On a scale of zero to ten, how much love do you feel coming from me?’”

Before you know it, they’ll be working to love you as well as you have loved them.

And that is exactly how love stimulates love.

*This article is one of many featured in Marriage Hacks: 25 Practical Ways to Make Love Last by Tyler Ward.
To find out more, or to download for free, CLICK HERE.

Words of Affirmation

When is the last time you gave your spouse a card, flowers, candy, or some other gift? If you don’t have any money, you can make a card. Get the paper out of the trash can where you work. Cut out a heart. Write the words, “I love you.” Be creative. You don’t have to have money to keep romance alive in your marriage. But you do have to be thoughtful. The husband who doesn’t believe in giving gifts is digging his own marital grave. Marriages are kept alive by expressions of love. Why not write a love letter to your spouse today. Tomorrow, you can give it to her or you can read it to her. Or, you can do both. Words of affirmation is one way of keeping romance alive in a marriage. Look for opportunities to express love to your spouse.

Q&A: Learning to Give Words of Affirmation

Q: How do I give Words of Affirmation to my spouse when it doesn’t come naturally?

Gary: When we don’t speak a language by nature, it is certainly a challenge. If you did not receive affirming words growing up, it will probably be more difficult to speak those words. You have to learn to speak another language. I suggest you write down some statements you’ve heard other people say and say them to yourself in the mirror. Then go to your spouse and just say one of them. Each subsequent time will be easier. You have to practice learning a new language.

Q&A: Loving Other People

Q: I struggle with loving other people. Do you have any suggestions?

Gary: It is difficult to get involved with other people; life is messy. When you reach out to love people who are hurting, you will hurt yourself if you have any emotional health at all. You will sense the pain of other people. But life’s greatest meaning is not discovered in isolation. Life’s greatest meaning is found in reaching out to serve other people. Jesus himself said, “I did not come to be served, I came to serve.” He is our model. Let me encourage you, even though it may be painful, to reach out and get involved in the lives of other people.

Q&A: A Loveless Marriage

Q: After 25 years of marriage,  I just don’t love my husband anymore. How can I stay in this marriage?

Gary: We have to be where we are but we don’t to stay where we are. Essentially, love is a decision and an attitude that says, “I’m married to you, how can I enrich your life?” Don’t wait on your emotions; choose to love in the power of the Holy Spirit. We have God’s help to love an unlovely spouse. When you love them in the right love language, there’s a good chance they’re going to reciprocate and emotional love can be reborn in the marriage. It won’t happen overnight, but there’s nothing more powerful you can do than to love an unlovely spouse.