Category: General

Q&A: I've observed that Christian parents aren't reinforcing the truth that women ought to dress modestly. Do you have an opinion?

Well I must confess that I sometimes have the same feeling when I simply walk around in public places and see young ladies or teenagers dressed in ways that are very provocative. I want to take this question as an opportunity to say to parents: Please understand the difference between males and females. Men are sexually attracted by sight and the way a woman dresses draws the attention of a man toward her or he simply sees her and respects her as a woman. How she dresses makes a huge difference in how he responds. So I hope parents will hear what we’re saying and will take this seriously and have honest conversations with their young daughters about this.

 

Pause to Pay Tribute

Next Monday is Memorial Day. Whatever our view of war, we pause to pay tribute to those who fought for freedom and paid the ultimate sacrifice. How do we honor our fallen heroes?  First, by thanking God for their faithfulness and sacrifice. Second, if you know someone who died in service, why not thank their family? By phone, e-mail, letter, or in person express your appreciation.

Too often we forget the families of those who gave their lives seeking to protect our freedom. A word of appreciation from you might ease the grief that they feel on this Memorial Day. Knowing that you remember brings comfort. You might also place flowers on a grave or do some other memorial act that says, I remember and I’m grateful.

The Road to Resolution

When you are angry with your spouse, it’s not enough to get rid of your anger. You must find a resolution to the situation that stimulated the anger. All of us sometimes say and do things that are not loving. These failures stimulate hurt and anger. Anger doesn’t simply melt away with time and hurt does not evaporate. They exist to motivate us to seek understanding and resolution.

In the back of my book Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way, I have a little card that can be torn out and posted on the refrigerator. It reads, “I’m feeling angry right now. But don’t worry, I’m not going to attack you. But I do need your help. Is this a good time to talk.” So, when you’re angry you take the card and read it to your spouse. Now you are on the road to resolution.

Celebrate Peyton Giveaway Contest

To be their best, children need to feel loved. But if you and your child speak different love languages, your affection might get lost in translation, affecting the child’s attitude, behavior, and development. In my book for parents, The 5 Love Languages of Children (updated and revised, 2012), Dr. Ross Campbell and I help you to discover and speak your child’s love language and give you practical suggestions for learning how your children interpret love—creating a sense of security in which they can thrive.

This month marks the release of my debut children’s book, A Perfect Pet for Peyton. It’s an entertaining and playful story of five children who each, with the help of “Mr. Chapman” and the unique pets at his special emporium, discover their own personal love language. The story is designed to help kids and their parents learn together about how we give and receive love differently. I really think you’ll enjoy the fun illustrations too! Children and parents alike will experience firsthand the power of the love languages as they cuddle up and spend precious time together reading this book over and over again.

To celebrate the release of A Perfect Pet for Peyton, we are giving away 10 sets of books!

*UPDATE: This contest is now closed and the winners have been chosen. Please keep an eye out for future contests and giveaways!

Enter to win both books by leaving a comment at the end of this post. For extra entries, like my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter and include that you did in a separate comment. Entries must be received by Monday, April 30, 2012 at midnight CST. Winners will be selected randomly and notified by email. To qualify, winners must reside within the U.S. or Canada.

» Note to iPhone Users
As an added bonus, a fun and interactive free app called “Peyton and Friends” is now available for iPhone which will enhance the in-book experience with A Perfect Pet for Peyton. Watch the characters in your book come alive with cutting edge AR (augmented reality) technology—something you have to see to believe. Help Peyton find perfect pets for his friends right in the room you are in using the camera function on your phone, test your pizza making skills against flying pepperoni, hear the talking parrot repeat everything you say, or help Mr. Chapman keep his pocket mouse from escaping with these four games your kids will love.

Remove Barriers in Your Marriage

You don’t have to be perfect to have a good marriage. But, you do need to deal effectively with your failures. Otherwise they sit as barriers to a growing marriage. How do you get rid of past failures? First, you identify them–write them down. Second, you confess them as wrong–to God and to your spouse. Third, you repent–change your behavior.

To confess this week, and then repeat the same behavior next week, does not remove barriers. It makes things worse. God is in the business of changing lives. Why not sign up for God’s rehabilitation program. Let Him give you the power to break old habits and replace them with acts of kindness and love. You can become the person, your spouse deserves.

 

 

Q&A: How do I start a marriage discipleship ministry?

Question: I would like to start a marriage discipleship ministry at my church. Where do I begin?

Answer: I think you begin by talking to your pastor…let him know your passion, let him know your vision, let him know what you would like to do. I suggest you start very simply. Choose five couples in your church that you think have a fairly good marriage. Then, tell them because you think they have a healthy marriage that you want to have the experience of leading them through a marriage enrichment program. Next, you choose a program—you can choose from my materials or you could choose from other materials—and you take those five couples through the program.

At the end of that, one or two of them will say “Hey, we could lead a group like this.” You recruit them—You let them lead the next group and then you start another group. It doesn’t take long until you’re taking scores and scores of people through a marriage enrichment program.

Q&A: How do I start a marriage discipleship ministry?

Question: I would like to start a marriage discipleship ministry at my church. Where do I begin?

Answer: I think you begin by talking to your pastor…let him know your passion, let him know your vision, let him know what you would like to do. I suggest you start very simply. Choose five couples in your church that you think have a fairly good marriage. Then, tell them because you think they have a healthy marriage that you want to have the experience of leading them through a marriage enrichment program. Next, you choose a program—you can choose from my materials or you could choose from other materials—and you take those five couples through the program.

At the end of that, one or two of them will say “Hey, we could lead a group like this.” You recruit them—You let them lead the next group and then you start another group. It doesn’t take long until you’re taking scores and scores of people through a marriage enrichment program.

How did you come to give your life to Christ?

Jesus said, “No man comes to the Father, unless the Spirit draws Him.” God’s method of drawing us is ‘love’. The amazing thing is that God individualizes His expressions of love. To put it another way, He speaks our love language. The man whose love language is physical touch, will say, “I felt God. My body was shaking. Tears were flowing down my face.”

Another man will say, “I came to Christ because I was overcome with the reality that Christ actually was willing to take my punishment and die.” His love language was ‘acts of service’. He saw Christ’s death on the cross as the supreme act of service.

We Love God by Loving Others

Jesus said, “As often as you do it unto one of the least of these my brothers, you do it unto me.”  We love God by loving others.  However, how we express love will depend on our love language. My love language is Words of Affirmation. Therefore, I find myself freely giving encouraging words to those I meet. My wife’s love language is acts of service. So, she is always doing things to help people.

I have a friend who is always giving gifts. And another, who loves to take people to lunch and spend time listening as they share their stories. And yet another, who is always giving people hugs and pats on the back. All of us are loving God by loving others. We differ only in the love language we speak.

What is The Greatest Commandment of All?

Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” Why would you want to love God? The Apostle John said, “We love God because He first loved us.” Some time ago, I began a study of the various ways in which God expresses His love to us.

I discovered that God speaks all five love languages fluently: Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. That study led to the publishing of my book: God Speaks Your Love Language. What makes one person feel loved does not necessarily make another person feel loved. God knows you and He chooses to speak your love language.