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Week of April 22, 2019

We could all use a little creativity when it comes to speaking love and appreciation to others. Here are some suggestions that will help get you started:

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION:
Before you sit down to eat, place a label or sign on each chair describing who is to sit there—“Best husband/wife in the world,” “My favorite person,” “My little princess.” Watch their faces light up and their love tanks fill.

ACTS OF SERVICE:
If someone you know is extremely busy or entrenched in a project, order them a pizza delivery. Pay for the pizza ahead of time (tip included), and see if they will include a little note as well. If not, you can always text and let them know something special is on the way.

GIFTS:
Subscriptions can be a nice gift once you are aware of someone’s interest. Whether for a magazine, media platform, online course, or other, surprise your loved one or coworker with a free month or year to something they will enjoy.

QUALITY TIME:
Shopping can sometimes be a chore, but you can also make it fun by intentionally creating the space for quality time in the midst of it all. Plan a quick date at a favorite coffee shop in between stores, or swing by that lunch place you both enjoy—whatever you decide, make sure to take the time to really enjoy and be present with the person you are with.

PHYSICAL TOUCH:
When there is a distance between you and the person you love, what can you do? Try sending something tactile that reminds your special someone of you. It could be a warm sweater spritzed with your favorite scent or a stuffed animal that can snuggle with them in your stead. There are meaningful ways to “touch” at a distance, but creativity is key.

If you would like to suggest a creative way in which you speak a particular love language, we’d love to hear from you. Click here to send us your suggestions.

Please note, there are many relationships in which you can speak the five love languages. If one of the above suggestions is not relevant to your particular relationship status (i.e. married, single, parent, etc.), stick with us and know that eventually, we will get around to a suggestion that is applicable to you.

Week of April 15, 2019

We could all use a little creativity when it comes to speaking love and appreciation to others. Here are some suggestions that will help get you started:

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
If your friend enjoys making art (songwriting, painting, creative writing, etc.), take time to sincerely compliment his or her workmanship. Find something specific about the art that you like, and explain to them why you do.

ACTS OF SERVICE
While your spouse is working, take the extra car key (swap parking spot with your car), and drive his or her car to a car wash and gas station. Return the car to where it was, and leave a note on the car seat expressing your love.

GIFTS
If a new season of a beloved TV show is premiering, offer to gift it for your special someone on their iTunes or other media library.

QUALITY TIME
If your boyfriend or girlfriend’s dialect of Quality Time is a quality conversation, don’t bog down a date with too many things to do. Leave time unscheduled for the two of you to be still together and talk about life.

PHYSICAL TOUCH
If your children like to, let them cuddle with you as you watch TV shows, movies, or when reading a book. This will be sure to fill their little love tanks and create wonderful memories.

If you would like to suggest a creative way in which you speak a particular love language, we’d love to hear from you. Click here to send us your suggestions.

Please note, there are many relationships in which you can speak the five love languages. If one of the above suggestions is not relevant to your particular relationship status (i.e. married, single, parent, etc.), stick with us and know that eventually, we will get around to a suggestion that is applicable to you.

Week of April 8, 2019

We could all use a little creativity when it comes to speaking love and appreciation to others. Here are some suggestions that will help get you started:

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Next time you overhear someone saying something nice about a friend, relative, spouse, or coworker, pass it along. Send a text or let them know in person the good things that are being said about them without them knowing. The world is full of negative talkers, so it’s always refreshing when we can amplify appreciation.

ACTS OF SERVICE
Acts of service are not just kind and thoughtful deeds done for someone, but often they are things we can do with someone. A good example may be to offer to help out with dishes—“I’ll wash, you dry?” Effective acts of service start with making someone’s life a little bit easier.

GIFTS
Gifts don’t have to be expensive to be thoughtful. Some of the most thoughtful gifts are the ones that connect in some way with a person’s interests and or identity. If someone really likes avocados, try these. If someone loves to watch Shark Week, this could be thoughtful. For more fun and economical gift ideas, click here.

QUALITY TIME
Over the next meal together, take turns completing the following sentence: “Something you may not know about me is . . .” This can be a fun, revealing, and interesting way to spend some quality time focused on the person you are with.

PHYSICAL TOUCH
If you have a gym membership, a workout together with your spouse can be a fun way to get a little physical. Spot each other on the weights, help each other stretch, and don’t forget to check those abs and arms often for muscle growth. 😉

If you would like to suggest a creative way in which you speak a particular love language, we’d love to hear from you. Click here to send us your suggestions.

Please note, there are many relationships in which you can speak the five love languages. If one of the above suggestions is not relevant to your particular relationship status (i.e. married, single, parent, etc.), stick with us and know that eventually, we will get around to a suggestion that is applicable to you.

Week of April 1, 2019

We could all use a little creativity when it comes to speaking love and appreciation to others. Here are some suggestions that will help get you started:

WORDS OF AFFIRMATION
Does someone you care about need some encouragement? If so, consider secretly reaching out to as many of their friends, family members, and coworkers as possible. Let them know you are compiling encouraging words for that person and invite them to submit theirs on a Google form you set up ahead of time. Make sure to set a deadline. Print them individually, and strategically leave them in obvious, easy-to-find places (e.g. car, pillow, fridge, desk). They are sure to delight. Thanks to Matt for the idea.

ACTS OF SERVICE
Did you know you can bring joy to an Acts of Service person even in small, possibly mundane gestures? Serve an afternoon snack, schedule the coffee machine to brew at just the right time, heat up their towel while they are in the shower (who doesn’t love a toasty towel?!). Small acts of service can go a long way. Thanks, Emily, for your suggestion.

GIFTS
Next time you are in line at your local coffee shop, order a $5 gift card and pass it along to the person behind you as you leave. Let them know that you just wanted to pass along some good will. It is surprising how in the act of blessing someone else, we often experience joy ourselves.

QUALITY TIME
If you are up for a challenge, consider taking a friend or loved one to an escape room. You’ll spend an hour or more working together to find clues toward discovering a way out of one or more rooms. It’s like a real-life puzzle for the mind. We’re not going to say it will be easy, but you’re sure to have some time together—maybe even some fun in the process. Thanks to Caroline for this idea!

PHYSICAL TOUCH
You may be surprised to learn how much a gentle pat on the upper back may mean to someone whose primary love or appreciation language is Physical Touch. When combined with encouraging words, a pat on the back is often interpreted as supportive and caring.

If you would like to suggest a creative way in which you speak a particular love language, we’d love to hear from you. Click here to send us your suggestions.

Please note, there are many relationships in which you can speak the five love languages. If one of the above suggestions is not relevant to your particular relationship status (e.g. married, single, parent, etc.), stick with us and know that eventually, we will get around to a suggestion that is applicable to you.

You are separated, but you really don’t want a divorce. You want to follow the Biblical ideal of seeking reconciliation. How do you go about it. First, you must not allow your emotions to control you. I didn’t say that you should not have emotions. Hurt, anger, disappointment, and pain are often the emotions of separation. Or, you may feel relieved, free, happy they are gone. Whatever your emotions, you must not allow them to control your behavior. If you do, you may murder your spouse. The Christian is called upon to seek reconciliation. This means we must take constructive action. Such action may mean that I must go against my feelings. Prayer is the best place to begin. “Lord, you know my feelings, but I want to be controlled by your spirit, not my feelings. Show me what action I should take and give me the power to do it.” Such a prayer is the first step in the right direction.

You may not have positive feelings toward your spouse, but you are choosing to give them unconditional love every week by doing something for them that you know they want you to do. There is a good chance that within six months, you will hear your spouse say “This is great. I can’t believe the way you are treating me. I think I’ve died and gone to heaven. It feels so good.”

Whenever you get this kind of feedback, you know that they are experiencing your unconditional love. You are now in a position to make a request of them. Something you would like them to do for you. Make it small at first. No major requests. If they do it, you will feel a warm emotion inside. If not, you will feel disappointed. Don’t let this keep you from loving them. Never make more than one request per week. When they start responding to your requests your warm emotions build. You are experiencing the emotional warmth of feeling loved.

Unconditional love has led to a rebirth of emotional love. Unconditional love is God’s way of rebuilding a marriage.

“I’ll treat her better when she treats me better.” “I’ll treat him better when he treats me better.” Such an attitude misses out on the power of unconditional love. Unconditional love is the choice to love your spouse no matter how they treat you. Let me give you a suggestion: Go to your spouse and say “I’ve been thinking about our marriage, and I realize that I have loved you conditionally. When you are kind to me, I tend to be kind to you. When you help me, I help you. I think that love should do better than that. I sincerely want to learn to love you no matter what. I want to make a fresh commitment to our marriage. I am going to ask you to give me one suggestion each week on what I can do to make your life better. Whatever you suggest, I’m going to do my best to do it.” After you pick them up off the floor, get pencil and paper and write down their suggestion. To the best of your ability, do it. You are on the road to unconditional love

All of us would like to think that someone loves us unconditionally. The child longs for this kind of love from his parents, but husbands and wives also desire unconditional love from each other. The wedding vow was to love “in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, so long as we both shall live.” This is a commitment to unconditional love. In a healthy marriage, we will actually experience it. Far too many are waiting for their spouse to make the first move. We sit back and say: “When they decide to become affectionate, when they decide to think about my needs, when they decide to be more responsive to me, then I’ll start loving them.” This is conditional love. Someone has to take the lead in unconditional love. Why not you? Most spouses will respond positively to unconditional love.

So, your spouse has failed you. But now, they have confessed their wrong and are seeking to change their behavior. What are you to do? In the Scriptures, forgiveness is always the Christian response to confession and repentance. Remember, forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a decision to lift the penalty and declare the person pardoned. Forgiveness means that you will no longer hold that failure against your spouse. Human forgiveness is based on God’s forgiveness. Christ paid the penalty for our sins. When we confess and repent, God forgives us. The same principle applies in human relationships. There are no healthy marriages without confession, repentance, and forgiveness.

You don’t have to be perfect to have a good marriage. But, you do need to deal effectively with your failures. Otherwise, they sit as barriers to a growing marriage. How do you get rid of past failures? First, you identify them – write them down. Second, you confess them as wrong – to God and to your spouse. Third, you repent – change your behavior. To confess this week, and then repeat the same behavior next week, does not remove barriers. It makes things worse. God is in the business of changing lives. Why not sign up for God’s rehabilitation program. Let Him give you the power to break old habits and replace them with acts of kindness and love. You can become the person your spouse deserves.