Perhaps you are saying: “I’m not sure that I want to work on my marriage. I’ve tried. I’ve given and given. It won’t work, and I may as well get out now!” I am deeply sympathetic with your feelings. I know that when we have tried again and again without success, we may lose our desire to try again. We see no hope, so we conclude that we have no alternative but to give up. Our emotions no longer encourage us to work on the marriage. That is why I never ask people, “Do you want to work on your marriage?” I always ask, “WILL you work on your marriage?” At the point of separation, we have lost much of our “want to”. But we must remember our values, our commitments, and our dreams. We must make wise choices in spite of our feelings of depression or hopelessness. When we chose to work on our marriages, we have all the help of God. God will not force your spouse to deal with issues and return to the marriage, but He will give you wisdom and strength as you seek to follow His will.