Q: My friends are telling me that I need to take a break from my spouse to refresh our love for each other. Is this healthy?
Gary: We all need time alone, but marriage consists of more than refreshing ourselves; it has to do with building intimacy between the two of you. Separation may give you some temporary relief from arguing, if that is happening, but you don’t win the battle by retreating. You win by staying on the battlefield and finding ways to solve the problems that are destroying your marriage. So, I cannot recommend separation as a means for enriching your marriage. That comes when the two of you engage with each other in a deep and meaningful way.