Q&A: Learning Words of Affirmation

Q: My wife’s love language is Words of Affirmation. Mine is not. Where do we start with this?

Dr. Gary Chapman: If Words of Affirmation is your #5, and it’s her #1, it’s going to take a lot of learning. Get a notebook and write down endearing things you hear other people saying to their spouses, thoughts you’ve had but never uttered, or things you read. Write them down, stand in front of a mirror, and say them to yourself until you feel comfortable saying them. Then, go to her and say one of them. This breaks the silence. Every subsequent time will be easier. It’s going to take baby steps for you to learn Words of Affirmation.