Q: “I’m new to the love language concept. What is the first step in understanding and applying them?”
Gary Chapman: When you’ve got the concept down—that people have different love languages—the next step is to discover your own and that of your spouse. You can do that by going to 5lovelanguages.com and taking the quiz. Or, you can also ask yourself the following questions:
- “How do I typically express my love and appreciation to other people?”
- “What do I complain about most often?”
- “What do I request of people most often?”
If you put the answers to these questions together, I think you’ll discover your primary love language. Once you know it and that of the people you care about, then it’s a matter of choosing to speak the love language of the other person. And, if they reciprocate, then the emotional climate of your relationship will be enhanced.