Q&A: Interracial Marriage

Q: “Do you have any comments on how the love languages work in an interracial marriage? I’ve been married for 22 years and it’s always been a challenge.”

Gary Chapman: The difference you are dealing with is a cultural difference, not racial. People of different races come out of different cultures or sub-cultures and when you put them together this often presents some challenges. The important things is to understand each other’s sub-culture and recognize that to cultivate a healthy marriage a couple must learn to accept and learn how to navigate or negotiate those differences—finding something that is meaningful and works for the two of them. Then, they can begin to look for ways to work together as a team. Consequently, learning ways to speak the primary love language of your spouse is going to help you do that.