Q&A: Our Friend Has Cheated, Do We Tell?

Q: We’ve just discovered that a friend of ours has cheated on his wife. My wife says we should tell, but I say we should stay out of it. What do you think?

A: I think it depends on your relationship with the couple. If you are indeed close friends, then you and your wife need to sit down with the offending husband, confront him with this, and tell him that because you love him and his wife that you cannot simply sit in silence. You encourage him to tell his wife what is going on. But you also let him know that if he doesn’t tell her, then you will have to tell her because you love her as much as you love him. With that kind of straightforward confrontation most men will tell heir wives what’s going on and then they can process that together. But as friends, I don’t think we just sit back and let things happen.