Q: My wife says that certain kinds of fighting (instead of being passive) can be good for a relationship. Do you agree?
A: It depends on what you mean by fighting. If you’re talking about physically hitting each other, then no that’s not good. But I don’t think that’s what your wife is talking about. I think she could be saying that it’s healthy to talk about things on which we differ–you share your point, I share my point. While it can feel like a verbal fight, it is healthy to get those things out and talk through those things. However, it should not be harsh or condemning words. It should be an effort to try to understand each other and reach a conclusion that’s going to be healthy for both of you.