Q&A: Whose Family We Spend The Holidays With

Q: Every year my wife and I butt heads on whose family we’d prefer to be with. If we can’t visit both, how do we resolve this?

A: Well, you’re talking about a common holiday problem in the early years of marriage. But it sounds like you haven’t gotten it solved yet even though you’ve been married for a few years. Here’s my suggestion: decide that one year you ‘ll go to her parent’s for Thanksgiving and your parent’s for Christmas and then next year you’ll switch it. That can be a final solutions. Parents will live with that and you can learn to learn to live with it. We don’t have to be at both parents’ homes every Christmas but I think if we’re fair about it and we do it on an equal basis, you’ll find your in-laws will accept it and the two of you can accept it.

Practically Speaking: Week of April 22

Written by Gary Chapman

Week of April 22, 2019 We could all use a little creativity when it comes to speaking love and appreciation to others. Here are some suggestions that will help get you started: WORDS OF AFFIRMATION: Before you sit down to eat, place a label or sign on each chair describing who is to sit there—“Best..... Read More

Practically Speaking: Week of April 15

Written by Gary Chapman

Week of April 15, 2019 We could all use a little creativity when it comes to speaking love and appreciation to others. Here are some suggestions that will help get you started: WORDS OF AFFIRMATION If your friend enjoys making art (songwriting, painting, creative writing, etc.), take time to sincerely compliment his or her workmanship...... Read More

Practically Speaking: Week of April 8, 2019

Written by Gary Chapman

Week of April 8, 2019 We could all use a little creativity when it comes to speaking love and appreciation to others. Here are some suggestions that will help get you started: WORDS OF AFFIRMATION Next time you overhear someone saying something nice about a friend, relative, spouse, or coworker, pass it along. Send a..... Read More

Practically Speaking: Week of April 1, 2019

Written by Gary Chapman

Week of April 1, 2019 We could all use a little creativity when it comes to speaking love and appreciation to others. Here are some suggestions that will help get you started: WORDS OF AFFIRMATION Does someone you care about need some encouragement? If so, consider secretly reaching out to as many of their friends,..... Read More

I’m Separated. Now What?

Written by Gary Chapman

You are separated, but you really don’t want a divorce. You want to follow the Biblical ideal of seeking reconciliation. How do you go about it. First, you must not allow your emotions to control you. I didn’t say that you should not have emotions. Hurt, anger, disappointment, and pain are often the emotions of..... Read More

God’s Way Of Rebuilding a Marriage

Written by Gary Chapman

You may not have positive feelings toward your spouse, but you are choosing to give them unconditional love every week by doing something for them that you know they want you to do. There is a good chance that within six months, you will hear your spouse say “This is great. I can’t believe the..... Read More

What Can I Do To Make Your Life Better?

Written by Gary Chapman

“I’ll treat her better when she treats me better.” “I’ll treat him better when he treats me better.” Such an attitude misses out on the power of unconditional love. Unconditional love is the choice to love your spouse no matter how they treat you. Let me give you a suggestion: Go to your spouse and..... Read More

Who Will Take The Lead?

Written by Gary Chapman

All of us would like to think that someone loves us unconditionally. The child longs for this kind of love from his parents, but husbands and wives also desire unconditional love from each other. The wedding vow was to love “in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, so long as we both..... Read More

Using The 5 Love Languages in Education

Written by Gary Chapman

So, your spouse has failed you. But now, they have confessed their wrong and are seeking to change their behavior. What are you to do? In the Scriptures, forgiveness is always the Christian response to confession and repentance. Remember, forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a decision to lift the penalty and declare the..... Read More

Dealing Effectively with Failures

Written by Gary Chapman

You don’t have to be perfect to have a good marriage. But, you do need to deal effectively with your failures. Otherwise, they sit as barriers to a growing marriage. How do you get rid of past failures? First, you identify them – write them down. Second, you confess them as wrong – to God..... Read More