Q: Every year my wife and I butt heads on whose family we’d prefer to be with. If we can’t visit both, how do we resolve this?

A: Well, you’re talking about a common holiday problem in the early years of marriage. But it sounds like you haven’t gotten it solved yet even though you’ve been married for a few years. Here’s my suggestion: decide that one year you ‘ll go to her parent’s for Thanksgiving and your parent’s for Christmas and then next year you’ll switch it. That can be a final solutions. Parents will live with that and you can learn to learn to live with it. We don’t have to be at both parents’ homes every Christmas but I think if we’re fair about it and we do it on an equal basis, you’ll find your in-laws will accept it and the two of you can accept it.