When I counsel couples, I sometimes ask them to write for me the things they dislike about their spouse. You should see the lists. Some have to request additional paper. A bit later, I ask them to list for me what they consider to be their own weaknesses. Usually, they can think of one right away, but I’ve seen them think and think trying to come up with number two. The message is clear. “I’m not perfect, but the real problem is with my spouse.”
Jesus had a different approach. He said, “First, get the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see more clearly how to get the speck out of the eye of your spouse.” A more loving marriage begins when you pray this prayer: “Lord, where am I failing in my marriage.” It’s a prayer He will answer.