Q&A: Restoring Trust

Q: What are some ways to restore trust after an affair?

A: First of all, there has to be a clear-cut break from the adulterous relationship. Then, what rebuilds trust is that the person who has been involved in the affair says to their spouse, “No more deceit…You can check my email any time you like. If I’m going over to George’s house to help him work on his car, you can call over there to make sure I’m there. I want you to know that from here on out, you can trust me.” If you take that approach and allow your spouse to do those things, over time trust will grow. You see trust is broken because we are unreliable and when we become reliable and trustworthy, then trust can be reborn.