Q&A: Marriage Checklist?

Q: “Is there a checklist or time frame that’s realistic for knowing when to get married?”

A: Many people, I think, marry far too soon. They don’t know each other well enough and haven’t explored the foundations for building a marriage—for example, learning how to handle anger in a realtionship. Not necessarily in your relationship because if you’re in love, you probably don’t feel much anger toward each other. But how does the other person handle anger toward their mother or father or someone at work? That’s a huge thing. You don’t want to get married until you find out if they can handle those kinds of emotions.

So yes, I think there are things that you have to explore before you get married. And when you see those things coming together, you see those traits in the person, it gives you a great deal of more confidence that they have the ability to build a healthy marriage.