Q&A: I feel like a child in my new marriage. Now what?

Question: We are newly married; second marriage for my husband, third for me. I feel like he should add me to his checking. However, he has never mentioned it. I feel like a child who has to ask for an allowance. What should I do?

Answer: Talk about it. The fact that you are newly married is an asset. This is the best time to talk about such things. It’s normal for couples to have issues of adjustment when they get married. I suggest that each week you have a ‘family conference’ in which each of you brings up one thing that is bothering you and the two of you look for an answer. This gives each of you a time to get things on the table.

If it is done on a regular basis, you will process the normal conflicts in a positive way. If you don’t have a set time to talk, you will likely hold things inside until the pressure gets so strong that you explode and end up in an argument. Explosive arguments never enhance a marriage. On the other hand, sharing concerns and looking for solutions draws a couple together. Love is always willing to listen and open to change.