Improving my marriage means that I must, first of all, identify and confess my own failures to God.
Paul talked about this when he said: “I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man”. None of us are perfect. Having a good marriage is not dependent upon being perfect, but it does require you to deal with your failures. First you confess your failures to God and experience His forgiveness. Then with the help of His Spirit, you go to your spouse and say:
“I’ve been thinking about us, and I have realized that you are not all of our problem. Last night I asked God to show me where I have been failing you. He gave me a pretty good list. I asked God to forgive me and I’d like to share these with you and ask you to forgive me.” Now you have your spouses’ attention. Something new is happening. They are all ears.
Your spouse may or may not forgive you, but your honesty clears the wall on your side. It empties your conscience of past failures. It frees you to be constructive today. Friend, your marriage is already better.