Affirmation Before Information

The most important building block of parent-teen relationships is love! Most parents sincerely love their teenagers but thousands of teens do not feel loved. For most parents, it is not a matter of sincerity but rather lack of information on how to effectively communicate love. We are so concerned about the teens behavior, that we often come across as condemning and the teen feels rejected.

When you need to instruct a teenager, make sure you speak love before you give the instructions. Give affirmation before you give information. For example, “I really appreciate the energy you spent in washing your car. It looks nice. Now, let’s be sure to keep that shiny car below the speed limit; otherwise, it will be my car for the next two days.”