Separation does not equal divorce. Sometimes separation is an act of love. Love says, “I love you too much to help you do wrong. I will not sit here and let you destroy yourself and me. Therefore, I’m moving out. If you want to make our lives better, then I am willing to go to counseling with you. But I won’t continue to be a part of your destructive behavior.”
If this seems tough; it is. But, it’s also love. Love seeks the well-being of another. In marriage, love is doing whatever is necessary to help your spouse break sinful patterns. When separation is viewed as an effort toward redemption, it is indeed, loving. For more on this topic, you may want to see my book: Hope for the Separated: Wounded Marriages can be Healed.