Verbal abuse can be fully as destructive as physical abuse. Most people who practice verbal abuse, are suffering from low-self esteem. Very likely they were verbally abused by their parents. They are simply handling their anger in the same way their parents did. If you are married to a verbal abuser, you cannot change them, but you can influence them.

Here’s one approach. Say to the abuser. “I know you must be terribly angry to speak to me like that. I wish I could share your hurt, but I can’t hear you when you’re screaming. Next time, why don’t you write me a letter and tell me what you’re feeling. Then, maybe I can understand and ‘be there for you’.” Will they take your suggestion? I don’t know, but it’s worth a try.