If when you hug your spouse and they stiffen up, and it feels like you are hugging a tree, there’s a reason. Either physical touch is not their love language, or, they have a lot of resentment toward you because of your past behavior. The answer to the first is to discover their love language and begin to speak it. However, the answer to the second is more difficult.
Resentment is the result of hurt. It doesn’t go away with a hug. It goes away when you sincerely apologize, and change your behavior. Saying, “I’m sorry,” is not an adequate apology. You must admit your wrong, and ask what you might do to make things right. Learn the love language of your spouse and speak it daily. In time, resentment will fade and they will accept your hug.