Intimacy comes from a Latin word meaning ‘inner.’ It is two people sharing the ‘inner self.’ Marriage is meant to be an intimate relationship. Two of the things we share are ‘thoughts’ and ‘emotions’. Emotions can’t be seen, but they can be revealed. When I say to my wife, “I’m feeling disappointed,” I have shared an emotion. If I tell her why, then I’m sharing my thoughts.

We make it easier for our spouse to share thoughts and emotions if we don’t pounce on them with condemnation. If you say, “Well, that’s nothing to be disappointed about. You shouldn’t let that bother you,” you have become a preacher not a loving spouse. When you say, “I can see how that would be disappointing, tell me more about it.” You are encouraging intimacy.