When I become impatient, lose my temper, and spout condemning words to my wife, I have become an enemy, not a friend. So, she will likely fight the enemy or flee from the enemy. So, we have a royal argument that no one wins, and both of us walk away wounded, and try to avoid each other the next few days. All because I was impatient.
On the other hand, had I been patient, I would have asked questions in an effort to understand my wife’s behavior. Once I understand what motivated her behavior, I’m more likely to have a reasoned response. I am now her friend and she responds positively to a friend. The whole atmosphere remains positive because I chose to be patient.