Keeping Romance Alive

Mark Twain once said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment.”  If we take Twain literally, he only needed six compliments a year.  Believe me, Your spouse, your child, your friend will need more than that.  Verbal compliments, or words of affirmation are powerful communicators of love.  Imagine hearing these words, “You look sharp in that suit.”  “Do you ever look nice tonight.”  “I appreciate your washing the dishes.”

“Thanks for getting the baby sitter lined up.”  What would happen to the emotional climate in your relationship if you heard such words of affirmation regularly?  Then why not develop the habit of speaking such words to others.  Compliments, stimulate compliments.

Choose Your Words Wisely
Is there something your spouse has expressed a desire to do?  Such as: loose weight, write an article, go back to school, or learn to ski?  Then why not encourage their dream?  Many dreams are killed by a spouse or friend who says, “It’s not realistic.”  “We can’t afford it.”  “You won’t follow through.”  Why be a dream killer?

Learn to speak encouraging words such as: “I know you can do it because you are an excellent writer.”  “If you want to go back to school, we’ll find the money.”  “If you decide to go on a diet, I’ll be happy to join you.”  One encouraging statement can be the difference between success and failure.  Remember, we give life or death to people’s dreams by what we say.

Prepare for Valentine’s Day in Advance
If you haven’t bought your valentine a card, flowers, candy, or a gift, today is the day to do so.  If you don’t have any money, then make a card.  Get the paper out of the trash can where you work.  Cut out a heart.  Write the words, “I love you.”  Be creative.  You don’t have to have money to keep romance alive, but you do have to thoughtful.

The husband who ignores Valentines Day is digging his own marital grave.  Marriages are kept alive by expressions of love.  Why not write a love letter to your spouse today.  On Valentine’s Day, you can give it to her or your can read it to her.  Or, you can do both.  Words of affirmation is one way of keeping romance alive in a marriage.  Don’t miss this opportunity.

Don’t Let Valentines Day Be Just a Normal Day

Happy Valentines Day.  This is the day to be nice.  Don’t go home without a card.  Underline key words and add a few of your own.  If you can afford it, have flowers delivered before you get home.  Take your lover out to dinner.  Or, if she prefers a nice quiet evening at home, then be sure you wash the dishes and take out the trash.

Do something different.  Don’t let this be a normal day.  What’s the big deal, you ask?  The big deal is keeping romance alive in a marriage.  Some husbands only want sex, but I can tell you that when you separate sex from romance, your wife will never be satisfied.

Pick out a few choice lines from the Song of Solomon in the Bible and read them to your wife, and you’ll have a happy valentines day.

If you’re married, and this Valentine’s Day proves to be a disappointment because your spouse didn’t make it a special day, don’t despair.  Couple’s often have different ideas about what it means to be romantic.  Sit down and make a list of the things that would have made Valentine’s really special for you.  Put this list in a safe place because next year, you are going to give it to your spouse a week before Valentines Day.

But do I have to wait a year for my marriage to get better?  No, No.  If you haven’t read my book The 5 Love Languages, this is the time to read it, and get your husband the Men’s Edition.  Discuss it and learn to speak each others love language and watch romance return long before another Valentines Day.

I’m Separated. Now What?

Written by Gary Chapman

You are separated, but you really don’t want a divorce. You want to follow the Biblical ideal of seeking reconciliation. How do you go about it. First, you must not allow your emotions to control you. I didn’t say that you should not have emotions. Hurt, anger, disappointment, and pain are often the emotions of..... Read More

God’s Way Of Rebuilding a Marriage

Written by Gary Chapman

You may not have positive feelings toward your spouse, but you are choosing to give them unconditional love every week by doing something for them that you know they want you to do. There is a good chance that within six months, you will hear your spouse say “This is great. I can’t believe the..... Read More

What Can I Do To Make Your Life Better?

Written by Gary Chapman

“I’ll treat her better when she treats me better.” “I’ll treat him better when he treats me better.” Such an attitude misses out on the power of unconditional love. Unconditional love is the choice to love your spouse no matter how they treat you. Let me give you a suggestion: Go to your spouse and..... Read More

Who Will Take The Lead?

Written by Gary Chapman

All of us would like to think that someone loves us unconditionally. The child longs for this kind of love from his parents, but husbands and wives also desire unconditional love from each other. The wedding vow was to love “in sickness and in health, in poverty and in wealth, so long as we both..... Read More

Using The 5 Love Languages in Education

Written by Gary Chapman

So, your spouse has failed you. But now, they have confessed their wrong and are seeking to change their behavior. What are you to do? In the Scriptures, forgiveness is always the Christian response to confession and repentance. Remember, forgiveness is not a feeling. It is a decision to lift the penalty and declare the..... Read More

Dealing Effectively with Failures

Written by Gary Chapman

You don’t have to be perfect to have a good marriage. But, you do need to deal effectively with your failures. Otherwise, they sit as barriers to a growing marriage. How do you get rid of past failures? First, you identify them – write them down. Second, you confess them as wrong – to God..... Read More

Would You Like to Put the Past Behind You and Start Over?

Written by Gary Chapman

I’m talking about in your marriage. Many couples have so much pain from past failures that they have a hard time moving ahead. Time alone, will not heal hurts. Healing comes when we are willing to confess our failures and change our behavior. Some of us would like to leave out the confession part and..... Read More

Most of Us Will Admit That We Are Not Perfect

Written by Gary Chapman

From time to time we say and do things that are not loving, kind, or helpful. In a marriage, these failures build into walls of separation. If you would like to remove past failures, you must first identify them. Get pen and paper and then, ask God to bring to your mind, the ways you..... Read More

The Biblical Picture of Marriage

Written by Gary Chapman

The biblical picture of marriage is the blending of two lives into a new unit which will both satisfy the individuals involved, and serve the purposes of God. Our hearts cry out for intimacy. We were made to share life with another. God created marriage to be the most intimate of all human relationships. We..... Read More

God’s Purpose For Marriage

Written by Gary Chapman

What is the purpose of marriage? Sex? Companionship? Love? To provide a home for children? Social acceptance? Economic advantage? Security? In the Bible, God looked at Adam and said: “It is not good for man to be alone”. The word means ‘cut off, isolated’. God’s answer? “I will make him a helper suitable for him.”..... Read More