Children ages 5-8

Tips for Parents


So many parents wonder about their child's love language, and admittedly, determining the love language of a young child requires some educated guesswork. Why? Because young children can't yet verbalize their love language. Therefore, the online assessment might not reflect an accurate reading of their primary love language. In light of this, for children ages 5 to 8 years old, you might try the following exercise instead.

Ask him or her to draw or call out some ways parents love their children. You should try not to guide their drawings or answers, limit their responses, or require more responses than what he or she is prepared to give at the time you ask.

Depending on the child's attention span and the time of day, you may get many answers, or you may get very few. If it seems like slow going, then you may want to secretly explore the subject of love with your child for a week or so until you can deduce what he or she perceives as love. You may find yourself reading books or watching programs with your child and asking the question, "How do you know that mommy or daddy loves that little boy or little girl?" Or you may intentionally experiment by expressing love in each of the 5 ways over a week's period of time. This will be a subjective measure, but the combination of all these suggestions—studying your child's answers or drawings, listening to their answers about other parents and children, and "measuring" their response to your expression of each of the five love languages—should be enough to help you accurately assess your child's primary love language. If you are lucky enough to catch your child in a talkative or expressive mood, you may be able to get him or her to identify several ways parents show love. You'll be looking for a theme or a repetition in their answers, and from this, you can accurately determine your child's love language.

Recommended Resources


The 5 Love Languages of Children

More than 1 MILLION sold!

You know you love your child. But how can you make sure your child knows it?

The #1 New York Times bestselling The 5 Love Languages has helped millions of couples learn the secret to building a love that lasts. Now discover how to speak your child’s love language in a way that he or she understands. Dr. Gary Chapman and Dr. Ross Campbell help you:

  • Discover your child’s love language
  • Assist your child in successful learning
  • Use the love languages to correct and discipline more effectively
  • Build a foundation of unconditional love for your child

Plus: Find dozens of tips for practical ways to speak your child’s love language.

Discover your child’s primary language—then speak it—and you will be well on your way to a stronger relationship with your flourishing child.

Learn More


A Perfect Pet for Peyton

This wonderfully imaginative children’s hardcover book by bestselling authors Gary Chapman and Rick Osborne, featuring four-color illustrations (with hidden details!) by Wilson Williams, Jr., will help children learn the importance of love. Based on Gary’s highly successful The 5 Love Languages®, A Perfect Pet for Peyton tells an entertaining and playful story of five children who each, with the help of Mr. Chapman and the unique pets at his special emporium, discover their own personal love language. Children and parents alike will experience firsthand the power of the love languages as they cuddle up and spend precious time together reading this book over and over again.

Learn More