Category: Love

Breaking Old Habits

You don’t have to be perfect to have a good marriage. But, you do need to deal effectively with your failures. Otherwise they sit as barriers to a growing marriage. How do you get rid of past failures? First, you identify them–write them down. Second, you confess them as wrong–to God and to your spouse. Third, you repent–change your behavior.

To confess this week, and then repeat the same behavior next week, does not remove barriers. It makes things worse. God is in the business of changing lives. Why not sign up for God’s rehabilitation program? Let Him give you the power to break old habits and replace them with acts of kindness and love. You can become the person, your spouse deserves.

Confession

Would you like to put the past behind you and start over? I’m talking about in your marriage. Many couples have so much pain from past failures that they have a hard time moving ahead. Time alone, will not heal hurts. Healing comes when we are willing to confess our failures and change our behavior. Some of us would like to leave out the confession part and just focus on being different in the future.

However, confession is essential to the healing process. Even God requires confession before He forgives. 1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, God is faithful and just to forgive us our sins.” Confession means that we admit to our spouse that what we did is wrong. We accept responsibility for our failure and request forgiveness.

Euphoric Feelings

Many single adults break up a dating relationship because they loose the euphoric feelings which pushed them along in the early stages of the relationship. In my book The Five Love Languages: Singles Edition, I try to help singles understand that if they can learn and speak each other’s love language, they can keep emotional love alive.

It is not the euphoric state, but it is a deep sense of genuine love. Now, we are better able to access the relationship. Are we really suited for each other? Do we hold enough in common to build a life-long marriage? Now we can base our decision on reality and not simply break up because we lost the euphoric feelings.

Addicted to Romance

Western society is largely addicted to romantic love. This kind of love is obsessive in nature. You can’t get the other person off your mind. They are the most wonderful person you have ever met. Now, your mother can see their flaws, but you can’t. Many single adults make poor decisions because they are overcome with this euphoric state of love.

This euphoric state, you should know, is temporary. On the average, it last for two years. Then, we must move to what I call the covenant stage of love. We must learn the love language of the other person in order to keep emotional warmth in the relationship.

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