Category: Love

Q+A: Marriage Preparation

Q: Gary, my fiancé and I are engaged to be married next Spring. What kind of conversations should we be having and what questions should we be asking towards building a strong and godly marriage?

Gary: You know I can give you a short answer that will take you a little while to read, and that is my book, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married. I would encourage you to work through that book. Read through the 12 things that I know now that had I know it then, would have made my marriage much easier. And I think it will help you make a wise decision about getting married.

Dealing with finances, sharing, and conflict. These are just some of the topics of Gary’s book, Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married.

10 Fun, Cheap Date Ideas for You and Your Spouse

Christi and I maintain a date night once a week. With little kids, it’s necessary for us to stay connected with one another beyond “business talk” or “kid talk.”

However, like most couples, spending money on a babysitter and the date itself can get pretty expensive over time. That’s why we’re creative in what our date nights often look like.

Need to stick to your monthly budget?

Here are 10 fun, cheap date ideas for you and your spouse this summer:

Continue reading article by Joshua Straub>>

Q+A: Dissipated Feelings

Q: Gary, I feel like my fiancé has lost interest in me. How can I get her to be interested once again?

Gary: Well if I had a quick answer to that, I would make a million dollars. How many times in a dating relationship does a partner fall out of love before the other falls out of love? It’s a very common occurrence. It would be nice if you could read the five love languages together and particularly the chapter when I talk about being in love. Perhaps she would come to discover that these feelings dissipate for everyone. It doesn’t mean the relationship should stop, but it does mean we need to learn each other’s love languages so we can then assess the relationship.

Biblical Forgiveness

Biblical forgiveness in marriage is the decision to no longer credit an offense against your spouse with a view of exacting vengeance. It means you release your spouse from a debt owed to you as well as the blame he or she may deserve. Forgiveness is first and foremost a decision. It doesn’t begin with an emotion. It is not contingent on how you feel about your spouse, but rather it is a choice to no longer blame your spouse for an offense.

Continue reading article by Dr. Tony Evans >>

 

Q+A: Is He the One?

Q: Gary, how do I know He is the one? Friends have their opinion & so does family….but How do I decide for myself if this is the person for me? The pressure is there of not choosing someone outside of the will of God but how does one really accomplish that?

Gary: “How do I know if this is the one?” Isn’t that the question that everyone asks when they’re single? How am I going to know if this is really the person? I would say you need to listen to your friends and listen to your parents because they see things that you don’t see. Don’t discount what they’re saying to you. Sometimes we fall in love and we overlook a lot of red flags that are waving because of our feelings, but our parents and others are sometimes able to see things we don’t. Listen to what they’re saying, ask questions, and read my book Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married. It’ll help you make that decision.

Addicted to Romantic Love?

Western society is largely addicted to romantic love. This kind of love is obsessive in nature. You can’t get the other person off your mind. They are the most wonderful person you have ever met. Now, your mother can see their flaws, but you can’t. Your friends can even point out potential issues. Many single adults make poor decisions because they are overcome with this euphoric state of love. Research shows that this euphoric state is temporary. On the average, it last for two years. Then, we must move to what I call the covenant stage of love. We must learn the love language of the other person in order to keep emotional warmth in the relationship.

Do They Really Love God?

Why do Christians sometimes criticize each other? Recently I heard a man say, “I don’t understand these people who spend all of their time in church singing praise songs. If they really loved God, why don’t they work in the soup kitchen. I think God must get sick of their singing the same old songs week after week and never doing anything to show their love by serving others.” This man does not understand that people express their love to God in different ways, because they have different love languages. If Acts of Service is your love language, then, yes, you work in the soup kitchen. If Receiving Gifts is your love language, then you show your love to God by giving. While Quality Time people love God best by having extended daily quiet times.

Q&A: Loving Someone and Being Loved

Q: Gary, I thought the ability to truly love someone and to feel loved is directly linked to the ability to love oneself first, so can someone who doesn’t love themselves ever really feel loved?

 

Gary: Well I think you’re wise to address the issue. The answer is to learn to love yourself. Listen, if the Holy God loves you, then you need to love yourself. Accept his love. If you’ve done wrong things, fine! Repent of those things. Ask God to forgive you and you then become a child of God, and God loves you with an everlasting love. So if you’ve experienced God’s love —whether you’ve experienced love from people or not — you’ll be able to love others.

Getting Good at Love

After five years of marriage, the question remains as essential and poignant as the night years ago in the car: Am I loving well? Although the answer stings at times, it is a trustworthy means of clearing the debris from the path to intimacy.

 

Continue reading article by Sarah Siders >>

The Attitude of Listening

When two people are talking at the same time, no one is listening. Consequently, there is no communication. For conversation to be meaningful, it requires talking and listening. How hard can that be? Yet, 87% of those who divorce say their main problem was that they could not communicate. Listening begins with an attitude. If I choose to believe that every person I encounter is made in God’s image; that their thoughts and feelings are important, than I am prepared to listen. If I think the world revolves around me; that my ideas are all that counts, then why should I listen to anyone else? Many couples don’t have a communication problem, they have an attitude problem.

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