Discover Your Past Failures
Most of us will admit that we are not perfect.
From time to time we say and do things that are not loving, kind, or helpful. In a marriage these failures build into walls of separation. If you would like to remove past failures, you must first identify them.
Get pen and paper and then ask God to bring to your mind the ways you have hurt your spouse in the past. Now, go to your children individually and ask them to tell you times when they have seen you being unkind to your spouse. Get ready, because children can be brutally honest. Then ask the same question to close friends who have had opportunity to observe your behavior. This process can be painful, but it is the first step in dealing with past failures.
Your Marriage is Worth It
Does divorce seem like the best alternative to you? If so, I hope you’ll read my book Desperate Marriages. Divorce, unlike death, does not end contact with the other person, especially if you have children. Nor is divorce a pretty picture financially. Research indicates that 73 % of divorced women experience a decline in standard of living.
One wife said, “Our marriage was bad, but our divorce is even worse. I still have all the responsibilities I had when we were married, but now I have less time and less money.” The effects of divorce linger for a lifetime. So do yourself a favor, call a counselor, read a book, or reach out to a pastor. Your marriage is worth it.
I Love Working Here
One lady said about her job, “I love working here! I can’t think of any other place I would rather work.” WOW! Every supervisor would like to hear that. But not everyone feels that way. One man said, “I’d leave this place tomorrow if I could find another job.” What is the key to job satisfaction? I believe it lies in one word: appreciation. When people feel appreciated, they like to come to work.
My newest book, The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, is designed to help you be effective in communicating appreciation. What makes one person feel appreciated, does not work for another. Along with the book, we created an on-line assessment that comes free when you buy the book. It’s called: Motivating by Appreciation Inventory. Discover your appreciation language today.
Crying Out
According to research conducted by the US Department of Labor, 64 percent of Americans who leave their jobs say they do so because they don’t feel appreciated. Something deep within the human psyche cries out for appreciation. When that need is unmet, then job satisfaction will be diminished. Think about what would happen if all workers felt appreciated.
It would create a more positive work environment, people would be more committed to the company, would reach more of their potential, and the level of job satisfaction would rise. Dr. Paul White and I point the way, in our newest book: The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. We believe that one person can start the process.
Enhancing the Workplace
When I wrote the book: The 5 Love Languages, I had no idea that the book would sell 6 million copies and be translated into 40 languages around the world. I did know that the concept had the potential of enhancing marital relationships. Every weekend, couples tell me that the book literally saved their marriage. I have been greatly encouraged with the way God has used the book to help millions of marriages.
Over the past three years, I have been writing a new book that is designed to take the love languages to the work place. I teamed up with Dr. Paul White, a psychologist who has had 20 years experience with business leaders. The book is now available. The title? The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. We’re hoping that it will do for work relationships what The 5 Love Languages has done for marriages.
Spring Check-Up
Taking Care of Yourself
For the Christian, service is a way of life. It is interesting that one of the five languages of love is ‘acts of service’. For some children and spouses this is their primary love language. Have you noticed that serving others is physically and emotionally draining? In order to love well, and long, we must take care of ourselves.
For physical health we need balanced patterns of sleeping, eating, and exercising. For emotional health we need self-understanding, love, a sense of purpose, and times of relaxation. Taking care of yourself is often the best thing you can do for your family. After all, Jesus said that we are to love our neighbors as we love ourselves.
