Discover Your Past Failures
Most of us will admit that we are not perfect.
From time to time we say and do things that are not loving, kind, or helpful. In a marriage these failures build into walls of separation. If you would like to remove past failures, you must first identify them.
Get pen and paper and then ask God to bring to your mind the ways you have hurt your spouse in the past. Now, go to your children individually and ask them to tell you times when they have seen you being unkind to your spouse. Get ready, because children can be brutally honest. Then ask the same question to close friends who have had opportunity to observe your behavior. This process can be painful, but it is the first step in dealing with past failures.
Keeping Your Relationship with God Alive
No other relationship is more important than our relationship with God. However, sometimes our relationship with God grows stale, or mundane. We are loving God, but we are doing it in the same old way, week after week and it has become ritual. We serve at the soup kitchen, or give our offering, without even thinking about God. It’s just what we do.
If you want to keep your love relationship with God alive, try speaking some new love languages. Instead of praying in the same familiar chair, stand up and pray or kneel or lay on the floor. Hold your offering in your hand and lift it to God as a symbol that this is an act of love. Then take it to church. God never intends that our relationship with Him become mundane.
A Love Relationship
Christianity is a love relationship with God. But what does that look like in daily life?
In my book: God Speaks Your Love Language, I use the five love languages as a model for understanding this love relationship. I am drawn to Christ when He speaks my love language. Then, I reciprocate by expressing my love to Him using my love language.
For example if my love language is receiving gifts, then I am drawn to Christ because He offers to give me forgiveness and eternal life. I am overwhelmed with His gift. Then I show my love to Him by giving gifts. My money is His money. I take great delight in supporting missionaries and giving food to feed the poor. Love is always a two way street.
How did you come to give your life to Christ?
Jesus said, “No man comes to the Father, unless the Spirit draws Him.” God’s method of drawing us is ‘love’. The amazing thing is that God individualizes His expressions of love. To put it another way, He speaks our love language. The man whose love language is physical touch, will say, “I felt God. My body was shaking. Tears were flowing down my face.”
Another man will say, “I came to Christ because I was overcome with the reality that Christ actually was willing to take my punishment and die.” His love language was ‘acts of service’. He saw Christ’s death on the cross as the supreme act of service.
We Love God by Loving Others
Jesus said, “As often as you do it unto one of the least of these my brothers, you do it unto me.” We love God by loving others. However, how we express love will depend on our love language. My love language is words of affirmation. Therefore, I find myself freely giving encouraging words to those I meet. My wife’s love language is acts of service. So, she is always doing things to help people.
I have a friend who is always giving gifts. And another, who loves to take people to lunch and spend time listening as they share their stories. And yet another, who is always giving people hugs and pats on the back. All of us are loving God by loving others. We differ only in the love language we speak.
What is The Greatest Commandment of All?
Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” Why would you want to love God? The Apostle John said, “We love God because He first loved us.” Some time ago, I began a study of the various ways in which God expresses His love to us.
I discovered that God speaks all five love languages fluently: Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. That study led to the publishing of my book: God Speaks Your Love Language. What makes one person feel loved does not necessarily make another person feel loved. God knows you and He chooses to speak your love language.
How Does God Use People?
Isn’t it amazing that God chooses to use people to reach people?
Jesus said to His early followers, “I will make you fishers of men.” He used that analogy because they were fisherman. They became the people who laid the foundation of the early church. We follow their example. We reach out loving people in the name of Jesus.
I’m sure the apostles did not sit around talking about the five love languages, but I can assure you that they spoke all five languages. Read the New Testament, and you will hear them speaking words of affirmation, giving gifts, performing acts of service, spending quality time, and extending physical touch.
How do You Know that God Loves You?
Ask a dozen people that question, and you may get a dozen answers. In human relationships, we feel loved when the other person speaks our primary love language. If words of affirmation is my love language, then I feel loved when you verbally affirm me. The same principle is true in our relationship with God.
In my book, God Speaks Your Love Language, I give biblical, historical, and contemporary examples of how God draws people to Himself by speaking their primary love language. This book has tremendous implications for evangelism. We are God’s representatives. He often uses us to express His love. Learning to speak a person’s love language makes us more effective vehicles of God’s love.
All Love Flows from God
We have always said that Christianity is a love relationship with God. But what does that look like in daily life? In my book, God Speaks Your Love Language, I use the five love languages to explain how we can have a growing love relationship with God.
It is almost beyond belief that the eternal God would want to have a relationship with us. But, it’s true. Not only that, but He speaks our love language so that we will know in our hearts that He loves us. He then welcomes our response, which incidentally, is usually expressed in our love language.
Q&A: Do you believe in New Year’s resolutions?
Question: Do you believe in New Year’s Resolutions? It seems that every year I make a list, but seldom accomplish my goals. Consequently, I feel guilty. I’m beginning to think it would be better not to make the list.
Answer: I can certainly identify with this perspective, but I do believe in New Year’s Resolutions. All of us need to evaluate our lives periodically, and the beginning of a new year is a good time to do that. Let me share some ideas that can make this a positive experience. First, make your objectives realistic. Don’t shoot for the moon. Second, make your goals measurable. Better to say, I plan to have a quiet time with God at least once a week this year. Than to say, I’ll do it every day. This is both realistic and measurable.
Third, pray that God will give you wisdom on how to reach your goals. If you want to loose 20 pounds, you need to have a plan. God can guide you to the plan that is right for you. And Fourth, don’t measure your worth by your performance. You are valued by God, even if you don’t keep your resolutions.
