September 1, 2016
In today’s world, many people are suffering from the pain of debt. Others are troubled with the upheavals of the financial markets. Let me remind you of the words of Jesus: “A man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” If you understand that truth it will change your life forever. Real satisfaction is found not in money, but in loving relationships with God, our spouse, children and friends. Loving relationships are our greatest assets. Most of us could live with less money, and may of necessity have to do so. But, if that helps us focus on relationships, then we still come out winners. Why not have a family ‘soup’ night – eat only soup and crackers and thank God that you are alive and together.
July 27, 2016
According to Money Magazine, 70% of married couples argue about money – more than about sex, household chores, time spent together, what’s for dinner and snoring. What does that say about the state of our money situation? Studies also show that what happens before marriage will probably happen during. To head off money conflicts from the nuptial-planning beginning, employ these techniques to find out what you need to know about the situation.
The money-spat breakdown of couples, according to the Money survey, show the categories as follows: Spending 55%, Saving 37%, Deceit 21% and Exclusion from decisions 11%. The money-fight within the money-fight, if you will.
So how can we move forward as lovers instead of warriors?
Continue reading article by Deborah Hightower>>
July 22, 2016
Q: Gary, my fiancé is a bit undependable (paying bills, chores, being on time, etc.). How can I Trust him with bigger things if he doesn’t take care of the small things?
Gary: Excellent question, and a question that should always be asked and answered before you get married, because whatever patterns are there before you get married will follow into the marriage. That’s why these things need to be discussed openly, you need to share your concerns, share your thoughts. If a person can’t grow in these areas before marriage, then they’re not going to grow in them after marriage. So these are the kind of things that need to be settled before you get married.
October 6, 2014
Q: My husband recently lost his job, how can I help him to stay positive?
Gary: Here are three things I suggest: (1) Speak your husband’s love language. The deepest emotional need we have is the need to feel loved. When your husband’s love tank is full, life is much easier to process. He may not have a job, but if he has you and feels that you really love him, he can go on looking with a positive attitude. (2) I suggest that you look for volunteer jobs at your church or in your community. Getting involved in doing something worthwhile is a big deterrent in getting depressed. Often it’s in the context of volunteering that you make new friends and sometimes even find a new job opportunity. (3) Ask your friends to pray for you. That’s what friendship is all about. Don’t walk it alone.
August 29, 2014
Q: After getting married we are having a hard time with coming together with our money. When it comes to bills it seems like it’s either hers or mine. Any advice?
Gary: Talk about it. It’s normal for couples to have issues of adjustment when they get married. I suggest that each week you have a family conference in which each of you brings up one thing that is bothering you. Then the two of you look for an answer. If it’s done on a regular basis, you will process normal conflicts in a positive way. If you don’t have a set time to talk you will likely hold things inside until the pressure gets so strong that you explode and end up in an argument. Sharing concerns and looking for solutions draws a couple together. Love is always willing to listen and open to change.
August 12, 2014
Saving money is good stewardship. One way to save money is to spend less. One way to spend less is to do “seasonal shopping” This is especially helpful when buying clothing. Shop at the end of the season sales. I don’t mean the first day of the sale. I mean after the items have been reduced two or three times. My wife recently came home with a $399 outfit that she purchased for $59.00. I love that kind of shopping. When it comes to food and household items, don’t forget
“discount shopping.” In most towns there are good stores that sell cheaper than others. Why not buy your groceries there? Their bananas come off the same boat as the bananas at the more expensive store. And by using manufacturer’s coupons, you can save even more.
August 7, 2014
Do you need more money? One of the best ways to have more money is to try what I call “free shopping.” Drive through affluent neighborhoods the night before the discards are to be collected. It’s amazing the things you find sitting beside a garbage can. The second approach is to let all your friends know that you are open to receiving hand-me-downs, especially children’s clothing and toys. The third approach is to inform your parents of specific toys that your children have requested. You know that they are going to give the children presents for their birthday, Christmas, and other occasions, so why not have them purchase things that the children really want? With these approaches you’ll have money for date nights and weekend get-aways with your spouse.
December 31, 2013
As we come to the new year, many people are suffering from the pain of debt. Others are troubled with the upheavals of financial markets. Let me remind you of the words of Jesus: “A man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions.” If you understand that truth, it will change your life forever. Real satisfaction is not found in money, but rather in loving relationships with God, our spouses, our children, our friends. Most of us could live with less money, and many of us have to do so. If less money helps us focus on relationships, then we still come out winners. Why not have a family soup day; eat only soup and crackers, thanking God that you are alive and together.
June 4, 2013
When I wrote my book: Profit Sharing: The Chapman Guide to Making Money an Asset to Your Marriage, I discovered that one of the most common problems is that couples do not feel like partners. Often, the husband so controls the money that the wife feels like a child on an allowance. Or, the wife will control the money and the husband feels ‘left out’. Obviously, someone must balance the checkbook, and keep the bills paid, but this does not mean that they control the money. We are a team, and must work together. The Bible says, “Two are better than one.” That is certainly true in money management. If you keep the books, you might ask your spouse: “Do you feel like a partner, or a child?” Take their answer seriously, and make adjustments as needed.
May 23, 2013
Money doesn’t destroy marriages. People do. If you are arguing over money, I’m suggesting that money is not the problem. The problem is that the two of you are blaming each other rather than joining forces to find a solution. For example, let’s say you are arguing about “not enough money”. He blames her for spending too much and she blames him for not looking for a better job. The solution? Stop blaming and spend that same energy looking for creative ways to lower spending and increase income. These are the only two ways to have more money. If you work as a team and apply your best thinking, seeking God’s help, you will find a solution. Remember: God has promised to meet our needs, if we put Him first.