June Blog for Books Winner

Congratulations to Tammie our June Blog for Books winner! She has won a copy of The Family You’ve Always Wanted. To find out more about Tammie check out her blog: http://allinadayof.blogspot.com

Special Blog for Books announcement: Keep up the commenting for your chance to win The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted coming out next month. Our July Blog for Books winner will receive 2 copies (1 for a friend) of Gary’s newly updated book. Remember the more you comment the better your chances are to be selectd the winner.

What’s in it for me?

Unconditional love means that we love, and thus seek the best for the other person, regardless of their response to us. We receive this kind of love all the time. God always bestows

His love on us unconditionally and His challenge to us in marriage is to love each other like He loves us. This kind of love focuses on meeting the needs of the other person. It is the greatest gift you can give your spouse. It is not based on their behavior, but on your desire to love them as Christ loved you.

In a healthy marriage, we will actually give unconditional love before we realize we’re receiving it. Far too many people are waiting for their spouse to make the first move. Someone has got to take the lead. Why not you?

Let me give you a suggestion. Say to your spouse, “I’ve been thinking about our marriage, and I realize that I have loved you conditionally. I think love should do better than that, and I want to make a fresh commitment to our marriage. I am going to ask you to give me one suggestion each week on what I can do to make your life better. Whatever you suggest, I’m going to do my best to do it.”

Still want to understand love better? Read 1 Corinthians 13, slowly, carefully and out loud.


What's in it for me?

Unconditional love means that we love, and thus seek the best for the other person, regardless of their response to us. We receive this kind of love all the time. God always bestows

His love on us unconditionally and His challenge to us in marriage is to love each other like He loves us. This kind of love focuses on meeting the needs of the other person. It is the greatest gift you can give your spouse. It is not based on their behavior, but on your desire to love them as Christ loved you.

In a healthy marriage, we will actually give unconditional love before we realize we’re receiving it. Far too many people are waiting for their spouse to make the first move. Someone has got to take the lead. Why not you?

Let me give you a suggestion. Say to your spouse, “I’ve been thinking about our marriage, and I realize that I have loved you conditionally. I think love should do better than that, and I want to make a fresh commitment to our marriage. I am going to ask you to give me one suggestion each week on what I can do to make your life better. Whatever you suggest, I’m going to do my best to do it.”

Still want to understand love better? Read 1 Corinthians 13, slowly, carefully and out loud.


4 Days Left to Take the 5LL Quiz

Hello Bloggers,

If you haven’t heard, there are 4 days left to take the 5LL Quiz for a chance to win a Gary Chapman conference trip.

It only takes a couple minutes to test your knowledge of the five love languages! You could win the grand prize. Don’t miss this chance!

Please read the complete rules before taking the quiz.

Click here to take it now.

Whose Money?

Remember when we were kids and our parents told us to share? Why was that so hard? Well if we thought it was hard to share our toys it’s even harder to share our money. When you get married it’s time for a change in the mentality of, “Mine!”

When you get married, it is no longer, “your money” and “my money,” but rather “our money.” Likewise, it is no longer “my debts” and “your debts,” but rather “our debts.” When you accept each other as a partner, you accept each other’s liabilities as well as each other’s assets.

A full disclosure of assets and liabilities should be made before marriage. It’s not wrong to enter marriage with debts, but you ought to know what those debts are and agree on a plan for repayment.

Marriage is two becoming one. Applied to finances, this means that all our resources belong to both of us. One of us may be responsible for paying the bills and balancing the checkbook, but this should never be used as an excuse for hiding financial matters. Full and open discussions should precede any financial decision. Marriage is enhanced by agreement in financial matters.

If you’re the “bread-winner” of the family how do you maintain humility and remember that it’s not YOUR money? If you have a lot of debt in your name, do you ever feel blamed by your spouse for that? We can lift one another up if we remember that all we have belongs to the Lord anyway.

How do you work out finances in your home, and remember the “OUR” rule?

Money! An Asset or Liability?

Sometimes it seems as if the more we have, the more we argue about what we have. The poorest of couples in America have abundance compared to the masses of the world’s population. I am convinced that the problem does not lie in the amount of money that a couple possesses, but in their attitude toward money and the manner in which they handle it.

I think a lot of us have an idea in mind of what the perfect home, perfect car, perfect job that seems to be the benchmark of what would make us happy. We get there and then realize, “No, that not quite enough.” Author Jeanette Clift George has said, “The great tragedy in life is not in failing to get what you go after. The great tragedy in life is in getting it and finding out it wasn’t worth the trouble.”When life focuses on getting more money, we have the wrong focus. Our marital relationship and our relationship with God are far more important than how much money we have. Getting our priorities straight is the first step in making money an asset to marriage rather than a liability.

What ways can money be a liability to your marriage? Discuss what you think it looks like when money is an asset to your marriage.

Thoughtful Gifts

Gift giving is a major part of relationships in many cultures.  I was in Chicago when I studied anthropology.  By means of detailed ethnographies, I visited fascinating peoples all over the world.  I went to Central America and studied the advanced cultures of the Mayans and the Aztecs.  I crossed the Pacific and studied the tribal peoples of Melanesia and Polynesia.  I studied the Eskimos of the northern tundra and the aboriginal Ainus of Japan.  I examined the cultural patterns surrounding love and marriage and found that in every culture I studied gift-giving was a part of the love-marriage process.

A gift is something you can hold in your hand and say, “Look, he was thinking of me,” or “She remembered me.”  You must be thinking of someone to give him a gift.  The gift itself is a symbol of that thought.  How often do you think about your spouse throughout your day?  How often do you make that known to them?  This week when you think about your spouse try to show them by giving them a token of your affection, a symbol of that thought.

Winner of April Blog for Books!

Congratulations to Jena, our April Blog for Books winner! Just for commenting on this blog Jena is receiving a copy of Gary Chapman and co-author Ross Campbell’s book The Five Love Languages of Children. If you would like to find out more about our winner you can find her blog at: http://craftymomof4boys.blogspot.com/.

He's Got Personality

Have you ever gone on date with a person and all they wanted to do was talk about themselves? Their life, their problems, their emotional baggage strewn out for you to look at and analyze. It’s probably because they’re a babbling brook. Many of you may be asking what in the world that means.

When it comes to communication there are two extreme personality profiles. First is the babbling brook. This person is constantly picking up the phone to talk to others, in fact, if they get someone’s voicemail they call someone else. If they can’t get someone on the phone they’ll talk to themselves. Whatever they see, whatever they hear, they tell. Some of you are probably turning red saying, “That’s me,” but don’t get too embarrassed because there are likely others out there saying, “I wish I could find someone like that, then I wouldn’t have to worry about conversation starters.”

This personality type is called, the “Dead Sea” personality. These people are perfectly content not to talk. In fact, if you say to a Dead Sea personality, “What’s wrong, why aren’t you talking tonight?” He/she is likely to respond, “Nothing. What makes you think something’s wrong?” These are the kind of people who don’t find long silent car rides awkward, rather they find these car rides enjoyable.

Babbling brooks have a great time with Dead Seas because they are such great listeners, and Dead Seas love not having to carry the weight of the conversation so they enjoy time with babbling brooks. The good news for two babbling brooks is that you can both learn to become better listeners. Likewise two Dead Seas can learn to be more open and to find things to talk about.

Which are you, a babbling brook or a Dead Sea? What ways have you tried or learned to become more balanced?

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