Search Results for: 'test'

Q&A: Resorting to Tests

September 24, 2012

Q: My husband is resorting to “tests” to prove my devotion. How can I make him more secure in our relationship?

A: When a spouse is putting you to the test and saying, “If you love me you would…” or “You don’t love me because you don’t…” They’re telling you that they are not getting enough love in their love language. So rather than getting defensive about it, which is what we typically do, I would suggest you really focus on speaking their love language. If you don’t know their love language, then go to, take the free quiz and ask your spouse to take the quiz so that you each know the other’s love language. Then, focus on giving them heavy doses of their primary love language. When they feel secure in your love, they are less likely to be doing what you’re calling, “testing your love.”

Celebrate Peyton Giveaway Contest

April 25, 2012

To be their best, children need to feel loved. But if you and your child speak different love languages, your affection might get lost in translation, affecting the child’s attitude, behavior, and development. In my book for parents, The 5 Love Languages of Children (updated and revised, 2012), Dr. Ross Campbell and I help you to discover and speak your child’s love language and give you practical suggestions for learning how your children interpret love—creating a sense of security in which they can thrive.

This month marks the release of my debut children’s book, A Perfect Pet for Peyton. It’s an entertaining and playful story of five children who each, with the help of “Mr. Chapman” and the unique pets at his special emporium, discover their own personal love language. The story is designed to help kids and their parents learn together about how we give and receive love differently. I really think you’ll enjoy the fun illustrations too! Children and parents alike will experience firsthand the power of the love languages as they cuddle up and spend precious time together reading this book over and over again.

To celebrate the release of A Perfect Pet for Peyton, we are giving away 10 sets of books!

*UPDATE: This contest is now closed and the winners have been chosen. Please keep an eye out for future contests and giveaways!

Enter to win both books by leaving a comment at the end of this post. For extra entries, like my Facebook page or follow me on Twitter and include that you did in a separate comment. Entries must be received by Monday, April 30, 2012 at midnight CST. Winners will be selected randomly and notified by email. To qualify, winners must reside within the U.S. or Canada.

» Note to iPhone Users
As an added bonus, a fun and interactive free app called “Peyton and Friends” is now available for iPhone which will enhance the in-book experience with A Perfect Pet for Peyton. Watch the characters in your book come alive with cutting edge AR (augmented reality) technology—something you have to see to believe. Help Peyton find perfect pets for his friends right in the room you are in using the camera function on your phone, test your pizza making skills against flying pepperoni, hear the talking parrot repeat everything you say, or help Mr. Chapman keep his pocket mouse from escaping with these four games your kids will love.

What is The Greatest Commandment of All?

March 8, 2012

Jesus said, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.” Why would you want to love God? The Apostle John said, “We love God because He first loved us.” Some time ago, I began a study of the various ways in which God expresses His love to us.

I discovered that God speaks all five love languages fluently: Words of Affirmation, Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, and Physical Touch. That study led to the publishing of my book: God Speaks Your Love Language. What makes one person feel loved does not necessarily make another person feel loved. God knows you and He chooses to speak your love language.

Marshmallow Test

June 2, 2011

More than 40 years ago, Dr. Walter Mischel conducted an extensive long-term study at Stanford University that came to be known as the Marshmallow Test. The researcher put a marshmallow in front of a 4 year old child and said: “You can have one marshmallow right now, or you can wait 15 minutes while I do something else and then you can have two marshmallows.

About one third of the children waited and received the second marshmallow. Fourteen years later the same children were interviewed about their present lives. Those who waited had better self-esteem, higher SAT scores, and were considered more socially adept and trustworthy. Patience, is indeed a virtue.

The Two Greatest Commands

February 16, 2011

Jesus said that the two greatest commands are to love God and love your neighbor. During this week when our society is thinking about Valentine’s Day, what a wonderful time to focus on loving God and your family (who are your closest neighbors). Each day  ask yourself: What can I do today that will express my love to God?

Then, ask the same question about your family. For your wife, you might volunteer to wash the dishes. For your daughter you might purchase a valentines card. For your son you might invest an hour in playing with him. Do something each day this week to express your love to God and your family. This is the Christian lifestyle: Love as a Way of Life.

FACEBOOK CONTEST! (ends Oct. 1, 2010)

September 10, 2010

You could WIN 2 SIGNED copies of Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married + a $100 Amazon Giftcard!

Official Rules:

(1) Upload a video of you asking someone who is married what is one thing they wish they knew before they got married. Then upload to or YouTube and link at Facebook page.

(2) Email 5ll.giveaways @ and let us know you uploaded your video…. Include the subject line “Video Contest” and in the body: your Facebook profile name.

Contest will end October 1st, 5 winners will be chosen to receive 2 signed copies of the book (one for yourself, and the other for whoever was featured in the video) with 1 GRAND PRIZE WINNER receiving the 2 books + a $100 GIFTCARD for

Winners will be considered based on content, creativity, and # of LIKES and announced on the following Monday.

Happy filming!

(US and Canadian residents only)

Deadlock vs Wedlock

March 27, 2015

Most counselors agree that one of the greatest problems in marriage is decision making. Visions of democracy dance in the minds of many young couples, but when there are only two voting members, democracy often results in deadlock.

How does a couple move beyond deadlock? The answer is found in one word—love. Love always asks the question, “What is best for you?” Love does not demand it’s own way. Love seeks to bring pleasure to the one loved. We are called to be lovers. When I love my wife, I will not seek to force my will upon her for selfish purposes.

Discovering the 5 Love Languages at School (Grades 1-6)

January 12, 2015

Finally, a curriculum that promotes academic excellence and personal safety, while giving students the skills to make connections that matter!

Based on the #1 New York Times bestseller The 5 Love Languages®, this curriculum uses research-based techniques that will help teachers and students establish both human and academic connections. Thoroughly field-tested, this material has been taught in many classrooms-public and private-with outstanding results. It reads like a book, with interesting stories and insights that dive deep into what it means to truly connect with students.

Inside you’ll find:

  • Eight easy-to-use lessons written in both scripted and abbreviated formats (average time per lesson: 35 minutes)
  • Curriculum that reaches all elementary-aged students, including trauma-sensitive, complex, and highly capable learners
  • Instruction that connects students with their teachers, educational staff, peers, and family at the deepest levels of understanding
  • Academic Focus Pages™ written at age-appropriate levels. Students can use them during the lesson and the classroom teacher can reproduce them year after year
  • Tools and ideas for all staff members to create an overall school climate of acceptance and break down walls of diversity


Freedom of Religion

January 6, 2015

Parents often find themselves in conflict with their young adult children. Sometimes these conflicts focus on religion. They become involved in a different religion or a cult. How is the Christian parent to respond?

First, let me remind you that the greatest influence you have on your children’s religious beliefs happens in the first eighteen years of their lives. They have heard you and watched you for many years. The closer your practice is to your preaching, the more they respect your beliefs. If you have failed, it’s time to repent and apologize. Then, it’s time to listen and dialogue. The days for preaching are over. They are young adults and you must respect their freedom. It’s the same freedom that God gives to all of us.

What If Christians Really Were

November 20, 2014

What if Christians really were? The word Christian means ‘Christ like’. In the first century it was not a name chosen by the followers of Jesus. It was a name given to them by others. The best way to describe these people was to call them Christians. Their lifestyle was based on the teachings of Jesus. Central in these teachings is the command to love. In fact, Jesus said that the greatest commandment is to love God and the second is to love our neighbors. I think ‘neighbor’ starts with the family and spreads outward. Love begins with an attitude, which in turn leads to acts of service. “How may I help you,” is a good question with which to begin. Today is a good day to express love.