August 26, 2013
Q: “I’m new to the love language concept. What is the first step in understanding and applying them?”
Gary Chapman: When you’ve got the concept down—that people have different love languages—the next step is to discover your own and that of your spouse. You can do that by going to 5lovelanguages.com and taking the quiz. Or, you can also ask yourself the following questions:
- “How do I typically express my love and appreciation to other people?”
- “What do I complain about most often?”
- “What do I request of people most often?”
If you put the answers to these questions together, I think you’ll discover your primary love language. Once you know it and that of the people you care about, then it’s a matter of choosing to speak the love language of the other person. And, if they reciprocate, then the emotional climate of your relationship will be enhanced.
May 20, 2013
Q: My husband got a zero for physical touch on your online quiz and I got a zero. How do I deal with it?
Gary Chapman: He must learn how to reach out and give you the kind of touches that communicate love to you—just as you must learn to speak his love language. It usually doesn’t come natural to speak a language that is not native to us, so it will be just as difficult for him as it is for you. But if you both understand how important this is—that this is what is going to make the other person feel loved—it makes learning to speak each other’s primary love language much easier. I deal with thoroughly in my book The 5 Love Languages, so if you’ve not yet read it and only taken the quiz, I want to encourage you do so. I would also recommend you get your husband the men’s edition because in it I give guys several additional ideas on how to speak all five languages.
January 9, 2013
When you’ve hurt someone all you want to do is make things right. Same thing if you’ve been wronged. But sometimes just saying or hearing, “Sorry,” isn’t enough.
Relationships are fragile. And whether fractured by a major incident or a minor irritation, the ensuing emotions can often feel insurmountable preventing the relationship from moving forward or the offended from moving on. In order to make things right, something more than “sorry” is needed. #1 New York Times bestselling author Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas have teamed up to deliver this groundbreaking study of how we give and receive apologies. It’s not just a matter of will, but it’s a matter of how you say, “I’m sorry” that ultimately makes things right with those you love. This book will help you discover why certain apologies clear the path for emotional healing, reconciliation, and freedom, while others fall desperately short.
What’s Your Apology Language? Take the profile now.
FREE Exclusive Bonus Content: What to Say When Sorry Isn’t Enough
QUIZ: How Good is Your Sorry? (PDF Download)
December 10, 2012
Q: How do I show appreciation to my finance? He does a lot of great things for me but says I don’t SHOW that I appreciate him.
A: I think this is a common problem in relationships; One person will do something to express their love for the other person but they don’t get the response they thought they would get. Maybe he buys a gift and thinks, “she’s going to really like this” and she says, “Oh thank you” and that’s it, but he thought she would be jumping up and down with excitement. I think a part of the problem is not understanding the other person’s love language. He’s speaking to you in one language and apparently you’re hearing that because you’re observing that he’s doing a lot of good things for you. I would say, take the Love Language quiz and discuss it with each other. I think you’ll find it to be helpful.
November 9, 2012
Q: I took your Language Quiz online, but I still can’t ID my primary Love Language. They all seem equal to me!
A: It’s not unusual that people will sense that all five of these are important to them. It’s probably because you have received all five of them throughout your life time, and you’re not quite sure of them which one stands out, but you do feel loved.
The question is: Is your love tank full? If your spouse is speaking your love language, or if you’re single and your parents and others are speaking your love language and you feel secure, then I wouldn’t worry about it. However, if you don’t feel loved then it’s essential to discover what would make you feel loved because what would make you feel loved is your primary love language.
September 24, 2012
Q: My husband is resorting to “tests” to prove my devotion. How can I make him more secure in our relationship?
A: When a spouse is putting you to the test and saying, “If you love me you would…” or “You don’t love me because you don’t…” They’re telling you that they are not getting enough love in their love language. So rather than getting defensive about it, which is what we typically do, I would suggest you really focus on speaking their love language. If you don’t know their love language, then go to 5lovelanguages.com, take the free quiz and ask your spouse to take the quiz so that you each know the other’s love language. Then, focus on giving them heavy doses of their primary love language. When they feel secure in your love, they are less likely to be doing what you’re calling, “testing your love.”
July 30, 2012
Q: As a manager of a small business team, I’m wanting to implement some of your appreciate tips. Where do I start?
A: Take a particular group of employees that you manage and communicate with them the idea of The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace. See if they would be willing to take the online quiz so that all of you will then know the primary appreciation language, the secondary appreciation language and the one that is least valuable to those individuals. Let’s see if this would enhance the work relationship. If you start with a small group and they find out it really works and changes the emotional climate, chances are you can then move to another group within the business. I believe that when workers feel appreciated, the company is going to prosper far more than when workers don’t feel appreciated.
August 9, 2011
When a man reads a book about love languages, it helps when the book speaks his language. Dr. Gary Chapman gears this edition of his multi-million seller to the needs, challenges, and interests of husbands. How do you learn her language? How can you let her know what you’re feeling? What are the secrets to making sex more meaningful and pleasurable for both of you? Every chapter features ten practical ways you can express each love language to the woman in your life, and a simple quiz will help you see what her love language is. Men enjoy the straightforward approach, and couples enjoy the transformation in the relationship.
June 15, 2011
Do you know the five love languages? Are you married or single? Did you feel loved by your parents when you were younger? If you are single, how many really close friends do you have? Someone, may be asking, “What’s with the quiz?” To be honest, I’m trying to get the attention of single adults.
I believe that understanding the love languages will help singles build positive supportive relationships: at work, with the family, and in their dating relationships. Learning to receive and give love in all five languages greatly enhances your potential for success. Learning how to identify someone’s primary love language is the key to a whole new level of friendship.
February 17, 2011
Children with full love tanks are more likely to obey parents, help others, and reach their potential in learning. Keeping the love tank full means that we must discover the child’s primary love language and then speak it regularly. The five love languages are:
- Words of Affirmation
- Acts of Service
- Quality Time
- Physical Touch
Out of these five, your child has a primary love language. How do you discover it? Three clues:
- Observe how they love you. What they give is probably what they want.
- What does your child complain about? The complaint reveals the love language.
- What does your child request most often? The request gives you valuable information.
For an online quiz to help your child discover their love language, visit the following link: www.5lovelanguages.com/profile