June 16, 2009
If you haven’t heard, there are 4 days left to take the 5LL Quiz for a chance to win a Gary Chapman conference trip.
It only takes a couple minutes to test your knowledge of the five love languages! You could win the grand prize. Don’t miss this chance!
Please read the complete rules before taking the quiz.
Click here to take it now.
August 26, 2016
Q: Gary, I’m engaged, but the “in-love” phase seems to already be ending. How can we maintain the ‘openness’ in our relationship?
Gary: I’m glad you’re acknowledging that the “in-love” feelings are fading; if you’ve dated long enough, they’re bound to fade before you get married. That’s where the 5 Love Languages can really help you stay emotionally connected to each other. If you haven’t read the book, read it, and if you don’t know each other’s love language then I would encourage you to take the quiz. Speak that language on a regular basis and you will keep the emotional love alive in the relationship.
August 8, 2016
Q: Gary, should I be concerned if my boyfriend refuses to take the Love Languages quiz? How can I determine what his language is?
If someone refuses to take a positive step in helping the relationship, yes, it’s a red flag waving because they’re not likely to be open to other things you request. In answering your second question, you determine his love language by asking yourself, How does he respond to others?” Observe his behavior. Is he giving pats on the back, is he giving words of affirmation, does he spend time talking to people? The second question is what does he complain about? The complaint reveals his love language. And then, what does he request of you most often? That also reveals his love language. So you can determine his love language even if he won’t take the quiz. But don’t overlook the fact that he’s refusing to do something you’re requesting.
August 15, 2014
Brutal Bosses. Poisonous People. Soul-Crushing Cultures.
This book will give you the confidence to rise above them all.
Do you work in a toxic environment or have a toxic boss? You’re not alone! Today, unattainable expectations, emotional harassment, and demands to do more with less often leave employees overworked, underpaid, insecure, and out of options. Must you continue to put up with poisonous people in a morale-crushing environment?
You can rise above. You do have options.
In Rising Above a Toxic Workplace you’ll learn how to endure, cope, or quit if necessary. Drawing from authentic—sometimes horrific—real-life stories, authors Gary Chapman, Paul White, and Harold Myra blend their expertise to give you practical guidance, empowering insight, and realistic hope. You’ll discover:
- how workplaces can become unhealthy and how to avoid getting wounded;
- what drives toxic leaders and why they are so damaging to those around them;
- essential tips for maintaining your sanity while dealing with dysfunctional colleagues;
- counsel on how to decide when to leave—for your own mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
Includes an extensive Survival Guide and Toolkit with practical tips for dealing with difficult people and demanding situations.
For more information about Toxic Workplaces, visit appreciationatwork.com/toxicworkplaces
February 24, 2014
Q: I scored almost equally on all five love languages when I took the online quiz. Is this fair to my spouse who has only one primary language?
Gary: In a sense it actually makes it easier for your spouse; his or her speaking of any of the languages will make you feel deeply loved. You have only one choice as to which language will make him feel loved. I would ask yourself one question however: “If I had to give up one of these languages being spoken to me, what would it be?” Repeat this until you’re down to one. Chances are you’ll find that one or two really do stand out. If so, be sure to let your spouse know.
January 3, 2014
Q: While dating how much time should be taken to help teach my love language to my boyfriend?
Dr. Gary Chapman: In the dating context you’re trying to get to know each other, which involves talking about your histories, your future. It also involves learning some skills that will help you if you decide to get married and one of those skills involves the concept of love languages. I would suggest the two of you read the book, maybe the singles’ edition, take the quiz, and discuss it with each other; find out how to clearly speak each other’s love language. If you get this down while dating and later decide to get married, it’s going to be a great step forward for your marriage because you already know what makes each other happy. So yes, I would suggest discussing the love languages freely while dating.
December 20, 2013
Q: My husband has told me that he doesn’t find me attractive. It breaks my heart, but what can I do?
Dr. Gary Chapman: I would say to ask why. If he says, “You’re overweight,” or “You dress sloppy,” those are things you can work on. However, it is likely far deeper than that; it is more than physical, it is emotional. Ask, “On a scale of 0 to 10. How much love do you feel coming from me?” It will probably be rather low. Then ask, “What can I do to help meet your need for love?” Take the quiz on 5lovelanguages.com and determine each other’s language. You can then begin to speak his language and vice versa. Chances are, he will begin to find you attractive again.
August 26, 2013
Q: “I’m new to the love language concept. What is the first step in understanding and applying them?”
Gary Chapman: When you’ve got the concept down—that people have different love languages—the next step is to discover your own and that of your spouse. You can do that by going to 5lovelanguages.com and taking the quiz. Or, you can also ask yourself the following questions:
- “How do I typically express my love and appreciation to other people?”
- “What do I complain about most often?”
- “What do I request of people most often?”
If you put the answers to these questions together, I think you’ll discover your primary love language. Once you know it and that of the people you care about, then it’s a matter of choosing to speak the love language of the other person. And, if they reciprocate, then the emotional climate of your relationship will be enhanced.
May 20, 2013
Q: My husband got a zero for physical touch on your online quiz and I got a zero. How do I deal with it?
Gary Chapman: He must learn how to reach out and give you the kind of touches that communicate love to you—just as you must learn to speak his love language. It usually doesn’t come natural to speak a language that is not native to us, so it will be just as difficult for him as it is for you. But if you both understand how important this is—that this is what is going to make the other person feel loved—it makes learning to speak each other’s primary love language much easier. I deal with thoroughly in my book The 5 Love Languages, so if you’ve not yet read it and only taken the quiz, I want to encourage you do so. I would also recommend you get your husband the men’s edition because in it I give guys several additional ideas on how to speak all five languages.
January 9, 2013
Previously titled: The 5 Languages of Apology
When you’ve hurt someone all you want to do is make things right. Same thing if you’ve been wronged. But sometimes just saying or hearing, “Sorry,” isn’t enough.
Relationships are fragile. And whether fractured by a major incident or a minor irritation, the ensuing emotions can often feel insurmountable preventing the relationship from moving forward or the offended from moving on. In order to make things right, something more than “sorry” is needed. #1 New York Times bestselling author Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas have teamed up to deliver this groundbreaking study of how we give and receive apologies. It’s not just a matter of will, but it’s a matter of how you say, “I’m sorry” that ultimately makes things right with those you love. This book will help you discover why certain apologies clear the path for emotional healing, reconciliation, and freedom, while others fall desperately short.
What’s Your Apology Language? Take the profile now.
FREE Exclusive Bonus Content: What to Say When Sorry Isn’t Enough
QUIZ: How Good is Your Sorry? (PDF Download)