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Have You Hugged Your Child Today?

Have you hugged your child today? Or, if you’re married, have you hugged your spouse today? How long has it been since you kissed each other? Physical touch is one of the five love languages. Some people grew up in homes were family members seldom touched each other. For these people, learning to speak the love language of physical touch will take effort. The good news is that you can learn to touch. I remember the father who said, “I know that my son’s love language is physical touch because he’s always touching me. But, I have a hard time touching him. My father never touched me, so it doesn’t seem natural to me.” My advice? Learn, one touch at a time. Begin with one finger on the shoulder. Every time you touch, will make the next one easier.

Physical Touch

Physical touch is one of the five love languages. For some people, it is their primary love language. If you want them to feel loved, then give them a hug, or a pat on the back. This is true for children as well as adults. If a child’s love language is physical touch and you seldom hug the child, the child will grow up feeling unloved. I remember a prison inmate who told me that he grew up feeling unloved by his mother. When he read my book: The Five Love Languages, he discovered that his love language was physical touch. “But, my mother never hugged me,” he said. “The first time I remember her hugging me was the day I left for prison.” How tragic. Don’t let that happen to your child. Hug them every time they leave the house and when they return.

‘Touch’ is Fundamental

A while ago, I met an old friend whom I had not seen in a long time. Immediately, we hugged each other. Why? Because ‘touch’ is fundamental to who we are as humans. We speak of the ‘five senses’. One of the five is touch. It is one of the ways in which we experience life. What parent does not know that toddlers like to touch? We may say, “No, don’t touch that,” but touch is one way a child experiences life. The same is true with adults. All cultures have appropriate affirming touches when they greet each other. When you touch me in an appropriate way, you affirm my worth. When you touch me in a harsh way, you demean me as a person. Make sure that today, all of your touches are affirming touches.

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