Q&A: Being Found Unattractive by Your Spouse

Q: My husband has told me that he doesn’t find me attractive. It breaks my heart, but what can I do?

Dr. Gary Chapman: I would say to ask why. If he says, “You’re overweight,” or “You dress sloppy,” those are things you can work on. However, it is likely far deeper than that; it is more than physical, it is emotional. Ask, “On a scale of 0 to 10. How much love do you feel coming from me?” It will probably be rather low. Then ask, “What can I do to help meet your need for love?” Take the quiz on 5lovelanguages.com and determine each other’s language. You can then begin to speak his language and vice versa. Chances are, he will begin to find you attractive again.


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