Q&A: Discovering Someone’s Love Language

Q: How can I help my fiancé discover his Love Language?

Gary Chapman: Well, I think you can probably discover his language if you do three things. First, observe his behavior: How does he typically respond to other people? If he’s giving them verbal Words of Affirmation, that’s probably his language because we speak our own language. Secondly, what does he complain about? Because the complaint reveals his love language. If he says to you, “We’re not spending enough time together,” he’s telling you that Quality Time is his language. And then thirdly, what does he request most often? If he often says to you, “Could you give me a back rub?” he’s telling you that Physical Touch is his language. So you can discover his language and then communicate it to him.


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