Communication is easy until you have a disagreement. So, how do we process conflicts without arguing? As I was writing my book, The Marriage You’ve Always Wanted, one of the great discoveries I made was the awesome power of listening. Most of us are far better at “making our point” than in “getting the point” of the other person. Listening has to do with trying to look at the world through the eyes of your spouse. It’s not that difficult if you try. Once you can truthfully say, “I think I understand what you are saying and it makes a lot of sense.” Then you can say, “Let me tell you what I’m thinking, and see if it makes sense to you.” Two people who listen long enough to “affirm” each other, can then find a win-win solution.
June 11, 2013