http://www.5lovelanguages.com/2009/11/resolving-conflicts/ Tue, 26 Jul 2011 17:00:11 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 http://www.5lovelanguages.com/2009/11/resolving-conflicts/#comment-181 Anonymous Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:54:13 +0000 http://mtownimport.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/resolving-conflicts#comment-181 9 mo. ago, I filed for divorce after 32 yrs. of marriage. I had left my husband twice before; once for a week after the lst yr. of our marriage, the second time I filed for divorce after 3-1/2 yrs. of marriage, but stopped the divorce a yr. later to try again. Although we dated for 3 yrs, I now realize I had serious doubts about our marriage, but thought it was maybe simply being "nervous" over the whole change in life. I discovered your books one day while searching for understanding of why our marriage failed. I started w/your "5 Love Languages (committment)" progressing to all the remaining books on marriage. My decision to divorce my husband was very difficult. I loved being married & loved him but frankly, I realized I could no longer live with the pain, abuse (physical, emotional & verbal) & my increased anger & built-up resentment. One day after a particularly difficult statement made by my husband, I actually felt like my "heart" had broken; my love for him was gone. I learned through your books that I had made the right decision. I realized without having read any of your books prior to my leaving that I had done everthing & more to try to save this union. The simple truth is I now believe my husband did not love me, had not for a while, but simply wanted to continue the charade because he was "comfortable". He came home from work sat down in his recliner, turned on his lap-top & the TV. We would then eat dinner with some simple conversation & he would do the dishes most of the time. I did all the laundry, cleaning, shopping, planning & finances. Our biggest problem was "lack of communication". To say the least there was never any communication because my husband took everything as a personal attack. Within 2 wks. of marriage, he stopped talking to me starting the long trend of Passive Agressive issues. He refused to go for counseling w/me; I went 5 times over 20 yrs. even telling me "he hadn't done anything wrong". Frankly, I will never get it. The one thing I do understand after reading your wonderful books is sadly, not every marriage can be saved, but I know I gave 100%+ trying to save this marriage; I have no second thoughts or guilt. While I believe we had everthing going for us; his negativity about all things finally did what negativity always does "it killed a great thing". 9 mo. ago, I filed for divorce after 32 yrs. of marriage. I had left my husband twice before; once for a week after the lst yr. of our marriage, the second time I filed for divorce after 3-1/2 yrs. of marriage, but stopped the divorce a yr. later to try again. Although we dated for 3 yrs, I now realize I had serious doubts about our marriage, but thought it was maybe simply being "nervous" over the whole change in life. I discovered your books one day while searching for understanding of why our marriage failed. I started w/your "5 Love Languages (committment)" progressing to all the remaining books on marriage. My decision to divorce my husband was very difficult. I loved being married & loved him but frankly, I realized I could no longer live with the pain, abuse (physical, emotional & verbal) & my increased anger & built-up resentment. One day after a particularly difficult statement made by my husband, I actually felt like my "heart" had broken; my love for him was gone. I learned through your books that I had made the right decision. I realized without having read any of your books prior to my leaving that I had done everthing & more to try to save this union. The simple truth is I now believe my husband did not love me, had not for a while, but simply wanted to continue the charade because he was "comfortable". He came home from work sat down in his recliner, turned on his lap-top & the TV. We would then eat dinner with some simple conversation & he would do the dishes most of the time. I did all the laundry, cleaning, shopping, planning & finances. Our biggest problem was "lack of communication". To say the least there was never any communication because my husband took everything as a personal attack. Within 2 wks. of marriage, he stopped talking to me starting the long trend of Passive Agressive issues. He refused to go for counseling w/me; I went 5 times over 20 yrs. even telling me "he hadn't done anything wrong". Frankly, I will never get it. The one thing I do understand after reading your wonderful books is sadly, not every marriage can be saved, but I know I gave 100%+ trying to save this marriage; I have no second thoughts or guilt. While I believe we had everthing going for us; his negativity about all things finally did what negativity always does "it killed a great thing".

]]> http://www.5lovelanguages.com/2009/11/resolving-conflicts/#comment-180 Karen Tue, 08 Dec 2009 19:01:19 +0000 http://mtownimport.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/resolving-conflicts#comment-180 Thank you. What about when you are not married nor engaged but in a serious relationship? How do you show reverance to him in this relationship and resolve conflicts in subission? Thank you. What about when you are not married nor engaged but in a serious relationship? How do you show reverance to him in this relationship and resolve conflicts in subission?

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