You Complete Me
Sure it’s a cheesy line from a movie, but how often do we actually feel this way about our spouse? There should be in any marriage a oneness that is evident in all areas of life.
When God said of Adam and Eve, “The two shall become one flesh,” he was not speaking only of physical oneness. In marriage, all of life is to be shared, and communication is the vehicle by which we attain this kind of intimacy.
If we don’t feel that oneness with our spouse maybe we aren’t communicating with them the way we ought to be. We cannot read each other’s minds. If your spouse is to know your thoughts, feelings, and desires, then you have to communicate them. A marriage without communication is like trying to win a million dollars without lifelines.
It may seem silly but even talking about the mundane can improve communication. The easiest level of communication is simply sharing day-to-day events. You are one! Don’t you want to know what your other half did that day?
Questions are so important for communication. If a husband comes home and his wife doesn’t simply ask, “How did things go?” she may communicate, “I don’t care how things went.” If her husband never inquires about her day, she may feel rejected or unloved. Asking questions about the day-to-day events is the easiest and best place to begin. And, it will make communicating easier over all, especially when it comes to discussing important things.
What are some other questions that you could ask besides the age-old, “How was your day?”
I truely feel that my husband does complete me. I am very interested in his day (the mundane and the extraordinary), so I asked him how his day was. If I get a “fine,” and no other response I ask ‘What he did,’ or ‘Who he saw,’ (he works with the public). I let him know that I am really interested (I keep probing – without being pushy, I can tell when he needs time or if he doesn’t want to talk right now). He is special to me and I want him to know that.
I will sometimes ask, “What is something today that surprised you in a good way?”
oh wow how this resontating with me… my marriage is lacking communication right now and has been for awhile. It seems to be something we need to learn how to do all over again- but i simply don’t know where to start as everything seems/appears to be surface stuff- simple chit chat. Nothing from the heart.
We were once told to ask which is the most intense feeling of today – positive or not quite so… does make you really think though – I’m blessed with an amazingly good communicator when pushed (haha) seriously we have always talked and talked – practice makes perfect!