Wise Men Say…Only Fools Fall in Love

Falling “in love” feels foolish sometimes. When young couples come to me for pre-marital counseling, I often ask, “Now let’s see, why do you want to get married? Whatever else they tell me, they always give me the big reason. “We love each other.” Isn’t that sweet. Then I ask a very unfair question, “Now what do you mean by that?”

What does it mean to “fall in love?” It all starts with what I call the “tingles.” Before long, you’re obsessed with them. They are the most wonderful person you have ever met. In your mind they are perfect. But this is hardly the bedrock for a healthy marriage. Why? Because its average life span is only two years.

In the textbook of marriage, the in-love obsession is the introduction. The heart of the book is rational, volitional love. This is good news to the married couple who have lost the “in love” feelings. The fact is, we can learn to meet each other’s emotional need for love.

How has your love in your marriage matured? What ways did you transition from the “in love” feelings to real love?


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